ccandd96

the writing of kuypers
2001-04-09 14:28:24 (UTC)

no regrets together

no regrets together


how else can I explain
sometimes I look into your eyes
and I see us in rocking chairs
on our porch
when we are old and gray
I see my future

and sometimes I see your face
and I think you're a despicable
useless defenseless human being
and I hate myself
for ever loving you

and I think
I have to stay away from you
I have to

I used to think
that everything would be wonderful for us
that we'd have our white picket fences
that we'd have no regrets together
that we'd love together
for always

and now I look at my life
and wonder what my future holds
and wonder what I'm doing
with him
with us

but I want you to understand
I want the world to understand
that although I'm afraid of my future
I have to live in the present
I have to feel needed
I have to feel loved
I have to look for my future somewhere

I have to do something
even though
some nights I dream of him
and some nights I dream of you

and I don't have the answers anymore
somebody help me
oh, somebody help me




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