2001-12-29 08:23:14 (UTC)

December 28 The next chapter

I was in second year of university when I encountered a
person Larry who destroyed me and the person I use to be.
We dated for 8 months and this guy promised me the world
(bullshit). He was charming and a great lover but nothing in
my head made me think about anyone else but Cody. I left
for Vancouver made a decision that I was never coming back
can't be with Cody must put land mase between us not to see
or hear of him again.

But Larry was ther and convinced me to come back so I did.
What do I come back to was I quick my job because I had to
choose between Larry and work, school I quit, and the
bastard got me pregant. Oh yes he did; ok lets back up a
second, five back Larry came to me with a sob story that he
couldn't have children because one of his nuts are damaged.
So I of cousred belived him, wouldn't you? So I got of the
pill and contuined have sex, then he tells me about marriage
, now I really was in a position not to say yes or no but in
the back of my mind Cody was there so I say \"I don't know?\"
But I contuined to have sex.

In the meanime Cody realized that he couldn't stay away and
called me and to ask for little me back. for about two
weeks I waved the idea around and cried a lot of tears,
rememebr the only guy for me was Cody, he showed up at my
house with a rose, that day I cried ( i am crying now). The
pain was bad hurtful and I didn't have a anwser. So I asked
Cody to pack his bags and get on a plane to Europe and I
would meet him there (invited to a friends wedding at the
time perfect)and we would elope or start fresh? Take a guess
what he said?

I stayed with Larry until he got bored of me and November 1
1998 the bastard as I tell him \"I am pregant the child that
you couldn't have\" he leaves.

I fell apart.................

On November 18 1998 the day I told myself I will never bear
a child again, a part of me died on baby Brian's birthday the same day I sent him back to his creator.

Believe or not I found comfort in the only person I could.

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