Yesterday I went out to a movie with some friends... turned
out that it was a french film with subtitles... but it was
really good. It was called Amélie... very cool. Then went
to Perkins last night cuz the guy that likes me wanted us
to meet him and a friend there. He's nice.
I'm just not sure what's going on. I don't trust guys at
all. I want a boyfriend. But I don't think I'd really be
able to like ANYONE right now just cuz I'm so convinced
that they're all jerks on the inside waiting for the right
time to tear some chick's life to shreads whenever it is
most conveniant and appealing to them. Anyways. My friend
wanted to go to the bar tonight cuz he had asked us to go
and I was looking forward to it. But now her mother wont
let her go out (have to visit family... as if the past
three nights of family dinners hasn't been enough) and she
wont let her go out tomorrow either cuz she has to watch
her brother. which, in some cases, is understandible. But
her fucking brother is FIFTEEN YEARS OLD!! He could be
driving a car by next year!! He doesn't need a fucking
So I'm sitting at home doing nothing. My little sister is
out with her boyfriend. I'm sitting here with wet hair cuz
i had just gotten out of the shower when my friend callled
to inform me that I wont be doing anything tonight.
I hate life. I hate everybody. I have very few friends now
because the ppl i was friends with before treated me so
fucking badly that I wont speak to them anymore.
I almost wish i was dead. Or that I could just sleep
forever. I don't want to go back to school on the 3rd. I
don't want to do anything anymore. I give up. I've tried to
have a normal decent entertaining life. But it doesn't work
if people don't cooperate. I can't go out and do things on
my own. LIke, i can't just go out and party alone. If they
don't want to , then i'm stuck here all by myself. My other
friend is with her boyfriend like 8 days a week it seems
like. He's all that's fucking important.
If they need a ride somewhere, that's when they call me.