2001-12-28 03:44:53 (UTC)

I CHOOSE YOU...........

Boys..........why do they have to mess up everything? Man,
I talked to Kellen tonite and.............I don't know. It
sucked. I wish I kinda didn't call him at all. We were just
talking and then it got quiet. So me being the person I am,
I said that maybe I should let him go because I didn't want
to be on the phone with him and it be quiet. Okay, he was
suppose to be like, "No shawty, it ain't even like that."
Instead, he was like, "Aight, I'll talk to you later then."
I mean, normally he doesn't let me get off the phone like
that. Ummm....I don't get it. That whole situation has
screwed up my freakin day! I hate it. I let some things get
the best of me too easily. To be truthful though....I'll be
alright. LOL....let me stop fooling myself....I don't give
a fuck! Anyway, I worked from 11 to 9 today. It wasn't that
bad. I have to turn around and do it again tomorrow, which
is cool. There isn't anything else to do around here. But
anyway, hopefully for New Year's I'll be going to Atlanta.
At first, I decided I wouldn't go after all, but Dee's mom
is finally letting her go....so why not. I'm a lil broke,
but last time I went up there for the weekend, I only spent
a good $40. That isn't bad considering the fact that we
stayed two nites at the Ramada. Well, I only ate once
though. No, I'm not starving myself or anything. I just
didn't have an appetite. I think we will go up there
Monday.....about 3 something. I get my check at 2, which is
straight. I mean, I do want to go. BUT(the big but) there
is this part of me that doesn't want to go. I don't know
what it is, but I want to be with a certain someone. I
won't call any names because I'm not even sure who it is I
want to be with. I just want someone to kiss when the clock
strikes 12. Awwww, could Jocelyn be longing for love?
Well, it would be nice to have it. Today at work, this dude
came in....I won't say his name because he's much older
than me.....but he came in and I was playing around with
him saying that he came in to see me because I saw him
yesterday and he asked me what time I was working today.
Well, I talked to him and he asked what time I would be
getting off, so I told him. He came in again and didn't
even order anything! I mean, he just came in and spoke to
me and acted kinda shy towards me. Like, I was talking to
him and he couldn't even look me in my eyes this time. He
kept looking down. It was kinda cute. Now, I don't like him
or anything. He's cute to me. He's 11 years older than me!
That's kinda freaky. I know I can handle it because I'm
mature enough, but anything else......like, physical
contact or something of that nature.....I don't know. It's
crazy! But let me go because something just came