Bethy90

You don't want to read this
2001-12-28 01:52:05 (UTC)

What and I supposed to do? huh?

So what am I supposed to do. I want out of here so badly.
I have to get out of here before it kills me. My dad is a
prick. My mom has some dilusional complex where she thinks
that things are going to get better. Ok, everytime I come
home, things are worse, not better. My other family thinks
that things aren't that bad and that I am overreacting.
What the _____?! Do they live here? No. I don't care
what worked on thier stepmom. I really don't care because
that was their situation and this is mine. No matter how
nice I try to be he just gets worse and worse towards me.
And Christmas has always been hell here. It always has
been and always will be. I swear to God that this is the
last fricken time I come home for more than a week. I
swear. I don't care what I have to do. I will quit school
and get a job if it means that I don't have to come here
and live in this house. Summer is going to suck a whole
lot. Hopefully I won't have to be here the whole summer.
I will hopefully be moving out not far into the summer
months. I know I'll have to work to get money put back and
I'll have to find a job down that way first though. I know
that this is probably going to be hard but I don't
care. . .I know that I can't live here anymore. I've known
that for quite some time. My brother has the right idea
with not being here all the time. I just don't want to get
out on my own and fall on my face. I know that things can
be worked out so that I don't have to work all the time and
I can do school. I have to either get a real job or stay
in school full time. I just don't know how this is
financially going to work. I have to work enough to pay
for rent, car insurance, and a car. And somehow stay in
school full time. I need to have health benefits. I can't
drop them unless I find a job that will give them to me. I
know that if it is supposed to happen, then it will work
out. God will find me a place to live that is cheap and
will get me a job that will provide the right amount of
money to get along. I just wish I knew what he was going
to do now so that I could plan.




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