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2001-12-27 20:19:30 (UTC)


dis xmas purdy much sucked...it barely snowed, i was pist
for much of tha time, im broke...etc etc...buh enuf of mah
bitchin i guess...tha worst thing wuz that mah only wish this
year for xmas neva came true...i thought, i wished, i hoped it
would come true buh it didn't
all i wanted was for him to call me on xmas and wish me a
merry xmas. we did talk on aim and he wished me a merry
christmas, buh it wasn't tha same. he hasn't called me in
soooo long and all dis tyme i was wonderin why that wuzm
buh then the day after xmas...i found out the reason why...
it flowz lyke dis~
i wuz talkin to him on aim and i alwayz mention dis gurl he
talks to a lot and he asked if i wuz jealous...of course i
denied it, buh i knew in some way..i was. he knew i was
frontin, buh he alwayz teazes me lyke dat. then he goez on
to say dat i should be jealous cuz he has a gf. i wuz so
pist...well, more hurt then pist. cuz a couple dayz before~he
told me dat he wasn't seenin anyone. he told me dat his gf
lived purdy far (in NY) i wuz jus thinkin...*uh....ok* n we didn't
say much after dat. cept he asked me if i wuz jealous..i felt
lyke sayin nigga hellz yeah! shietz thas jus harsh!...buh i
didn't, cuz i lyke him too muchie to say sumfing lyke dat.
anywayz~ before that convo...i thought maybe there mite be
a small...tiny...teeny chance that we could be more than
friendz...buh tha newz he told me on xmas bout his gf..it jus
broke mah heart...it jus tore me up inside and made me
depressed tymez three. dayum, whyz luv hafta be so hard,
whyz it hafta be so fukked up? shit, im still flyin solo...

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