Just somewhere to say things
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2001-12-27 06:05:47 (UTC)

Trying to decide

I've just gotten back from Christmas vacation of sorts. I
took an extra day off, so I could stay an extra day, but
tommorrow I'm going back to work, but before I go into
that, lets recap the last weeks events just to see what all
has happened. Friday evening, when I got home from work, I
told Rachel about what my parents and I had talked about,
that we would have the whole family christmas, including,
aunts, uncles, grandparents, the whole schebang, that
night, and that on the 1st of January, we'd go back and
have christmas with just my parents, and brother and his
family. I get told that I hadn't mentioned that before,
though I remember I had, so, I eventually just walk away,
and take my shower, and get ready to head to my
grandparents house. I pretty much just try and brush it
off as misscommunication, that we didn't understand each
other when we talked about it before. ok, so we head on to
my grandmothers, the night goes well, no real problems,
except half my family I think believes that because I'm
supporting Rachel and Kira and plan to support the baby,
that Rachel and I are eventually going to get together and
have a little family. Sounds like a load of fun doesn't
it. While I know I've thought about it, and I would like
to at least try and see if there could be a relationship
between Rachel and I, atm there is not one, and I
unfortunately keep getting reminded about that everytime I
hear the words "He's just my roommate" or some derivative
thereof. Ok, so we get up Saturday morning and get ready
to drive to Mobile to be with her family for Christmas. no
problems so far, driving along, and we get there. I
actually had a great night that night, Rachel went out with
a friend of hers, and I went driving, and found out where
the ocean was, and went to it. I love the ocean, it's like
one of the few loves I have in this world. So I'm doing
alright, and I even get to see a thunderstorm building over
the horixen which is very cool looking if you've never seen
it. So I head back, and get there, she's back, and
everyone sits up a while, and then it comes time for bed,
and Rache's friend is supposed to sleep with in the floor
in the room she's sleeping in. Ok, so Rachel's mom gets
upset, saying that if they are going to do that, they are
sleeping with the door open, and such. it's at this point
that Rachel gets upset and the argue about it, until Rachel
just says for her to deal with it. her mom doesn't like
this, and to prove the fact, after Rachel and her friend go
to bed, she looks to me and says "So you think she's going
to do anything with that boy" to which I responded no,
cause I honestly didn't think Rachel would. I'm going to
take this point to explain that they have 4 cats in this
house, and that I am allergic to cats, just to set the mood
for this entire weekend. So I'm sneezing up a storm, sore
throat, itchy eyes, luckly I had picked up some benadryl,
so I was able to at least bear with it. so I wake up, it's
a lovely day in the alabama neighborhood, I get up, watch
some TV, Rachel goes off with another one her friends. I
watch some more TV, and spend most of the morning vegging
out, but I end up going out for a while, and just kind of
parusing. I was bored, so I was pretty much just looking
atround, even got some lunch. I head back, Rachel is back,
I chill out there the rest of the evening, until we do some
RPG's with her family, which went fairly well. Rachel once
again gets into an argument with her mom about where a
friend of hers that is coming is going to sleep, as she
wants him to stay in the room with her, more on that
later. The next day, I get up, Rachel heads off with her
sister and some others to do some last minute shopping, so
I sit around, figuring I've got nothing better to do, at
least until her cousin asks me if I want to go watch Lord
of the Rings, to which I gladly said yes, even though I'd
seen it once already. So we go off, and when we get back,
Rachel is back, as is the guy she invited to spend
Christmas with her abnd her family, someone she is dating.
not going to go off on a tangent, just deal with it. SO
he's over, he joins our RPG, and the night goes well, till
I get upset about all the bickering OOC about some things,
and also because I assumed that Rachel, as the DM would be
in control of my animal companions, since I have no real
control over them, they are just, as the book says, animal
friends of my char(long story about RPG's, but the jist of
it is, my char was a druid and had animal friends). She
tells me it was my responsibilty to play them, not hers, so
I get upset because I didn't know that from the beginning.
Anyways, the game does eventually continue, and we end it,
and everyone goes to bed. wake up, it's christmas, I feel
like crap cause of my allergy's, and we open gifts, I end
up going back to bed afterwords, and trying to get some
rest so I feel better. later that night, everyone comes
over for Christmas dinner, and we end up playing games,
which I have fun with, and towards the end, people wanted
to head off, which would leave me, Rachel's mom, her aunt,
and the little children, amongst other people. I tell her
I'm going to leave, and she gets upset with me, saying I
have run off every day sicne I've been here, and it
wouldn't hut me to spend some time here. my initial
reaction was 1) I don't like to spend time with peoples
parents unless I know them well, or the person who's
parents they are is there with me, and 2) so had she, as I
was only not there when she wasn't too. Anyways, that gets
me upset, and she's upset, and we all end up heading off to
the movies, and I sit and watch one movie, while she and
her date watch another, and her sister and her boyfriend
watch yet another. I have some time to sit and think at
this point, so I do. I felt very bad, mostly cause I had
upset Rachel, and that I had done something stupid. I even
wrote about a page long letter, which I thought about
giving her about it, but I'm not sure if I will. 1st,
because I wrote it upset, and now that I'm not, I'm not
sure how much of it really was just me being upset, and how
much was the truth. secondly, I looked it over, and
realized it's was very dramatic, and full of me trying to
sound poetic, which I'm fairly good at when I want to be,
but I know Rachel, and she's tired of her life being one
big drama. Maybe I'll just end up revising it, and giving
that to her, who knows. ok, so anyways, we get back, there
is sleep to be had, after a late night snack, we head off
to bed, get up this morning, and drive back. that brings
us to what happened an hour ago. The guy that Rachel is
dating wants to go to a new years party, and wants her to
go with him. Even though I'm afraid that this is going to
backfire in my face, I agree to watch her daughter for
about two days while she goes to this party with him. I'm
worried she's not going to listen to me while her mom's
away, but I suppose we'll see. I suppose the plus of this,
is that she trusts me enough to leave her daughter here
with me. Anyways, thats where I am now, prety much at a
neutral state atm. Happy holidays to everyone else, and
have a happy new year.

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