ccandd96

2001-04-09 13:41:29 (UTC)

November 26, 1998

I have learned things, and wanted things
and I never get what I want
I'm used to that now

maybe my standards
are different from the average

I won't get married when I want to
at the rate I am going
I may never

I have been told you are a lucky guy
because you get the chance
to hold me and give me attention
and all that other gushy stuff

but you haven't taken that chance
oh, wait, that is something
you haven't given me
that is something I have learned too

you kissed me last night
we made the comical references
of having sex for hours
and we knew we were both
saying it in jest
and nothing ever happened

is that how it is?
joking, and having nothing?
well, then, I can deal with that, too

---

I want you to fill in the pieces
and make everything better for me
I want to make all of your problems
go away for you

---

it was
maybe the accident
maybe the lack of a car
maybe the desperate need for attention from you

I wanted to be held
And you held me more
and hugged me more
was I reading into things
or were you actually thinking of me

there are only so many times
where I got nothing from you

I ask too many questions to you sometimes
because I have to get used to that, you know