Jencaero
Happy Noodle Boy Rox!
11
2001-12-26 - 12:34 p.m.
fuck fuck fuck fuck
shit
why the hell do we have to fight
im gonna transfer this to my other one but its shut down
fuck
why
i hate this page its all happy
life isnt happy
fuck
god
i dont want to go to fuckin driving lessons why the hell
cant she see that im gonna get into a wreck and die or
something i dunno ive only been fuckin driving twice and
theyre gonna put me on fuckin university with all those
fuckin cars and i dont know how the hell to cope because i
dont know how the hell to drive and its fuckin scry and
fuckin no fun and i cant do it why doesnt she understand
this isnt something thats easy for me and id cant fuckin do
it and so i say no and she says yes and what do you know we
get into another fuckin fight over what seems to be fuckin
nothin but its more than that its more than driving that
were fighting over and we both know it it turns into a
lecture then me screaming just so shell listen but shes
like a little kid and doesnt understand doesnt try to
doesnt put herself in my place i see her point but she
doesnt see mine . if she did she wouldntve slapped me she
wouldntve called me those names she wouldntve said i was
going to hell
why did she say all that fuckin crap
damnit
why , im going to hell because i dont want to drive and my
rooms messy
its not even that messy the beds not made thats all
fuck
i hate this in a mood where i feel like killing myself
damnit
i hate this
it bites
crap
shit
fuck
shit
i cant take it why does she always tell me that im going to
hell
i mean i can take everything else
but that last part
just kills me
so i cry forever and shes iced over
and i cant take it god
god
god
why the hell are you letting this happen
i hate it
and she screams get out of my face
doesnt even listen
were not even that close
i cant talk to her about anything
cant talk to dad about anything even
what kind of parents are those
and its not like i dont try
if i didnt try then id be to blame
but i do
and they dont seem to understand
dad does sometimes
but mom doesnt i dont think she wants to or maybe she just
cant
i feel so terrible i really hate her i dont know why
well i do
its what she said
sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never
hurt me
whoever said that was the biggest idiot ever known to
mankind
i wish it were sticks and stones because words hurt more
and then she complains about how expensive the fuckin
lessons are
well hell i know that
its not like shes losing money though it doesnt cost
anything to cancel
and i cant stand it
i cant
i cant
i cant
i cant
i cant
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
if it cost stuff well hell shed be more careful
damn and she has money
they have money
why the hell then does she worry like crap over it
dad never does
hell she doesnt even work why the hell should she worry
about fuckin money then
damnit
i cant stand this
i wish
no i dont
fuck
fuck
still cryin crap why does this always happen
why do i hate her
fuck
fuck
she doesnt even love me
im pretty sure of that
she thinks everything i do is terrible
and no matter how hard i try ill never measure up
all 100s and 1 80 and shell lecture me on the 80
fuck
fuck
fuck
and she acts like she knows what shes talking about
like in tennis
she gives me advice
crap ive been able to beat her since i was7
thats over 8 years
and she thinks she knows better
i suppose its partly me though
cuz i listen sometimes
and when i do thats when i fuck myself up
cuz her advice doesnt work
i dont think it ever did in anything
fuck
fuck
fuck
why does it have to be this way
fuck
haha i wish i were some dumb blonde just blow it of lalala
and go talk with my boyfriends or something
damnit now i feel sick
and i wish dad would come home
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
i hate this
i hate this i hate it i hate it
i wish i was a kid
i dont want to get old
i dont want to grow up
and i DONT WANT TO GO DRIVE
god right now my worst fear is dying of couse
does she know how many fuckin teenagers die in accidents
and ive only been on the fuckin road twice
for like 1 hour each time
and now im gonna be in the street with intersections
traffic stop lights damnit i cant cope who could i already
have a lot of stress hell i already have grey hair
damnit
damnit
too much pressure
pressure for driving
for tennis
for school
mostly for tennis and driving
school is pressure but its constant damnit school is easy
everything else is fucking hard
im not a fuckin natural athlete i have to work
i dont have fast reactions and i dont have much common sense
fuck and soon i have an alergist appointment
fuck
fuck
theyll stick needles in me and then my back will be swollen
for days
fuck
i hate this
why the hell does it have to be like this
fuck it all
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