the writing of kuypers
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2001-04-09 13:20:51 (UTC)

trying to make this work

trying to make this work

June 17, 1999

It has been going around in my head
trying to come up with different ways
to make thing better for you

for you
and me
and us

trying to make this whole thing work

I've been told to take down the pictures of men
that would piss you off
so I have
even though of most of my friends
are male
and you know, I am a photographer
I'll give up on that fight too
without you asking

I've tried to come up with ways
to make eating vegetables
something other than
something your mother made you do
when you were a little lid

I've cleaned up after you
I haven't complained to you

oh god, I can think of a bunch of things
I have paid your bills for you
I have gone to seminars with you
I have planned things for you
and me
and us
and I am beginning to wonder
if in this whole future prosses
I have to just lose me altogether

because I don't want that

When I announced I was engaged
someone had to ask me, to whom
and I find myself forgetting
that this isn't just me me me any longer
and I have been told
that you are supposed to be
the first concern here
and you know, this whole
committment thing
is new to me

but yes, this is all new to me
and I am still trying
I want to make sure that I
am making the right move
and that we
are making the right move

isn't there a guidebook somewhere
that gives you all the answers

because I've been looking for
all these answers
and I'm sure they've to to be
around here somewhere