thouhgts of Sam
2001-12-25 15:47:40 (UTC)

Merry Christmas??

Ha I dont feel very fucking merry. I just feel like I hate
this season I dont know why but it is driving me insane.
Everyone is gone, Joselin, Katy, Alex.....And I just feel
like I'm alone. I still have all the guys but I dont
really want to do anything I guess I just want to be in my
hole for a while I dont know maybe I'll come out
eventually. (I know I will on January 5&6) We all know
why. but anyway this whole season seems to have lost all
meaning for me, I feel kind of depressed right now. I dont
know I have been thinking alot about my dad and the things
I want to say to him, but I dont know how I want to tell
him all the pain he has caused me over the years, and the
things he put us through. ("us" being mom, josh and I) He
has no idea of the living conditions we were put in. And
then when he found out we were getting a step-dad he became
bitter and he even hit josh and I. That BASTARD. He
fucking hit us for no god-damn reason and AHHHH! You know
nevermind I dont know why I started this but fuck it I dont
want to write anymore. fuck this. Fuck this season, and
fuck him