instinct

Differences
2001-12-25 10:44:25 (UTC)

God's word to me?

I am a free thinker. By the name of law, in my documents, I
am a believer of Tao. But actually I am a free thinker. I
believe that the God we all believe exists.

I believe that God exist, and believe that he created us,
created a planet for us to shelter in, some animals to
accompany us, others to feed on. I believe he created trees
and flowers which we can admire, and birds to sing and fly.
I believe that God exist, truely do. I believe God sends
messages to me too, but not through a dove nor through
dreams. I believe he send messages to me through people I
meet. These people can be people whom I am familiar with,
or people who are strangers to me.
Many occasions, but 2 i remembered clearly.

There was once, I was facing problems with work and
relationships. Though being a free thinker, I went to the
Chinese temple to pray, I pray silently to God by the bed
at night , to help me through these times. But, things did
not turn better. I lost faith in what I believe. Then, one
fine day , 2 colleagues of mine who never talk to me about
religion , suddenly told me this. "When we choose to
believe in God, we wish to be with him. In any religion,
the believer wishes to reach enlightenment and be with
their God. But there will always be at least once, things
will not turn out the way they want it to be. And they pray
but do not help. Lost faith in their God. And forget and
forsake what they believe. All these are just barriers to
test their faith."
Why have my colleagues told me these when we don't belong
to the same religion and when we seldom talk about
religion? Message from God to me? I started putting faith
in him again. Thereafter, life slowly sip back to normal.

Another time, again, being stressed by work, I went out of
the office to take a fresh air. I am a non-smoker, but that
moment, with all the problems in my mind, with all the
thoughts cramped in my head, and all those work not
finished, suddenly I wanted to walk down to a shop nearby,
get a pack of cigerattes and start smoking away. I thought
and felt that at least, that can be a way for me to de-
stress. Of course, not having enough guts, I did not. But I
went up back to the office, really seriously considering
the idea. I thought, "damn. might not be a bad idea. One
day, if I gotten a terminal disease, I will smoke the rest
of my life away. At least I get the feel of it!"
And guess what? Right that night, I took a taxi home. After
I hopped onto the taxi for less than 5 minutes, the taxi
driver turned around and asked me, "Do you smoke?" I
replied no, why?. He said, "That is good. You have a long
way ahead of you." Why did a stranger tell me out of
nothing? And the rest of the journey back home, he did not
say anything else.
God, if you have been sending messages to me, I would like
to send this back to you. (If you have internet access up
there, and happen to read this entry.) I thank you for the
life I have. I thank you for the people you have brought
into my life. I thank you for the help you gave whenever I
asked for it. I thank you for the unhappiness I experience,
hence I understand how great it is to be happy. I thank you
for what I have today. Thanks.
Any other pple reading this, if you have lost faith in what
you used to believe, have you been missing out the messages
God is trying to tell you through pple you come accross or
lesson you learnt?


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