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update on christmas

the drinking did not work. i think it just intensified my
emotions, and they're bad enough as it is. i just got off
the phone with aaron, i cried. i fucking cried. thats a
lot, i don't cry over much anymore, although lately i've
begun to get more emotional again. argh thats all i need,
emotions..ha, joking, i love being hypersensitive.

and i have to do it again tomorrow, unless my grandmother
sees reason and decides to let me stay home

i hope so, i really do

cause i don't think i can handle this again, its too much.
it hurts

that exacto knife is starting to look real good...

jesykA