Product of a Broken Home
2001-12-25 02:55:45 (UTC)

thank god for alcohal

i hate christmas! i hate christmas! i hate christmas!

there, now that thats out of my system...

yeah, my family's over for christmas eve, i'm hiding out in
the computer room and thought that i miht as well type
here, cause i haven't anything better to do. they all hate
me, and yeah, i feel bad for not socializing with them, but
its not like they want me to or anything. except for my
mom, who just really wants me to fit in and be like, i feel
pretty bad cause i'm disappointing her big time. i just
don't fit in with this family though. but hey, at least i'm
not at work, poor chris i still washing dishes at smitties,
and i know its busy tonight.

fucking guilt, but hey, thats what the vodkas for after
all. i wonder how much of this i hve to drink before i get
rweally plastered...doesn't matter, its not like my
grandmothers going to let me have that much anyway. then
again, do i really care? maybe mom has some pot on her i
can have. thatd be nice, and almost too perfect.

i wish someone could've come over tonight to keep me
company. but of course everyone is busy on christmas eve.
aaron would be a big help right about now, he tends to calm
me down and not want to grab the exacto knife sitting on my
dresser. not that i'll do anything anyway, but its
tempting. maybe i'll just burn stuff.

i can see what i'm going to be like as an adult celebrating
christmas, bitchy, uncaring, pessimistic and anti--social.
i feel very sorry for whoevers family i end up celebrating
with at that point..ughh..

i think i need to be on the phone...if anyone reads this,
please call 555-5555 {i did have my real phone number up here at one
point, but aaron convinced me to change it..actually i was going to
anyway...} and ask for jesykA