Jencaero

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2001-12-24 05:07:41 (UTC)

9

me again
im a dumbass
i hate myself
ha
what the fuck is up with this
im a fuckin hypocrite
say this do that
fuck
fuck
fuck
calvin and hobbes rocks
bill wattersons a genious he knows about life
fuck
hell yeah he does
why the hell havent i killed myself
am i hoping for something more
look at myself
writhing in distractions
material
will i ever meet a guy
who understands me, cares, listens?
i found out my crush of 3years on and off used to
like me
hate myself for not tellin him
we couldve had somethin
not now though
he changed
hell look at me i distract myself to keep from thinking
but i still love thinking just as i love life
why cant i be myself?

for a moment i thought i was in love
after a year
hell i loved andrew once
once
seems like long ago
wasnt though
what if liz saw this
what would she think
shed think i was weird would she not
people are strange anything alien to them is weird
they never consider someone else's opinion to be right they
are so baised
its terrible
im terrible
god
this is fucked up im gettin depressed
hmm why is my aimsname jennifercaero15
why not something like hotgirl or punkgoddess
i like punk music
i can listen to it identafy
lets not go into music though that was in another entry
maybe my snames jennifercaero15 cuz its straightforward hmm
why is this my profile: theres more to life than just
sitting back and accepting.theresmorethanboys andschool.it
seems like no one else thinks that.im15 goin on 1000.whenim
depressed i dont need drugs money or things of that sort
just someonetotalk to.someone who i love.religion is
outside of the box ive learned so i try2think that way.i
hate hypocrites and those who think theyre perfectyet could
it be possible that i myself am what i hate?who am i who
are you what is the point of life?i havent figured that out
yet butim workin on itive discovered people should not just
accept things because they were taught to accept but accept
because they believe and want2cuz then when their beliefs
are shaken theyll standfirm.some1oce gave me the benifit of
the doubt in my religion and i took it.my philosophy:life
isabig distraction to keep ourselvesfrom thinking for if we
think 2much we know what we dont want2after all ignorance
is blissful
am i hoping that ill find someone to figure this out
figure me out
a soulmate or something
in pandoras box came hope
when i entered this life i opened the box
and gained hope
and its all i have
i wish someone would tell me what they think about my ideas
that would be nice
i wish someone would tell me who i was
because i dont know
who i was
who i am
who i will be


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