ThOuGhTs Of A LoTuS ChiLd
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2001-12-24 03:44:12 (UTC)

Maybe x-mas won't be so bad after all....

Well its around 10 on a sunday night and I ain't got shit
going on as usual.You know my lil sis is starting to have
more of a social life than I am.It's pathetic.But anywayz
the weekends been pretty slow considering its the holidayz
and all ...I figured there would be alot going on.Well
Friday i slept all damn night but Saturday I only slept
till like 6 pm and i woke up and was like fuck this i need
to get out of the house.So I got ready and asked my mom to
drive me to the mall.....BIG MISTAKE! the place was a
fucking madd house and i didnt see anyone there to really
chill with...so i walked around for a bit untill i ran into
Sara and she said she'd run up to bob's with me.so we get
to bob's and its nothing but hoes and rednecks like
always...but theres nothing else to do.so i said whut up to
everyone and talked to my lil sis for a bit..It got pretty
boring and then who walks in the door??.....FLANNY!! so i
was like hey where the fuck you been? and he told me Manda
was out in the parking lot ..so i went to say hey to her
and me and her caught up on what had went down in the past
week.then she asked if I wanted to go chill at the
apartment so me,flanny,manda,and two of his friends from
savage all went and chilled.manda and flanny got in a huge
ass fight and manda got all upset.so we watched most of
GROOVE for like the millionth time and then I went
home.Well I asked Flanagan if he had talked Steve and he
said not since like monday...so I just said "oh" and that
was the end of that.Well today I went with my mom and her
b.f. to the mall and then we decided to get sumthin to
eat..so where did they decide to go? the TEXAS GRILL
HOUSE...which is where steve works..well we get in there
and I didnt see him.Well after we ordered steve walked in
the door to start his shift..I got so fucking nervous I
couldnt eat...thats how bad I like him..I neevr get like
that.Well he saw me and then did a double take to make sure
it was me and all he did was smile..he didnt say hi or talk
to me but when he walked past he would give me this lil
look and a smile...I have no FUCKING clue what he ment by
it.I dunno if he didnt want to talk to me ,or if he couldnt
cuz he was busy working ,or if he just wanted to play hard
to get..i have no clue...I'm completely lost...but oh
god..that smile...I love it.So after an hour of my mom and
her b.f. trying to embarass me we left and i went
home...well manda didnt call like she said she would...but
thats no surprise.she forgets things alot.so I got bored
and decided i wanted to get fucked up...well all the vodka
was gone and i wasnt in the mood to drink beer..so after
checking the med. cabinet i found sum zoloft...well i had
no clue what they would do..so i snorted half and ate
half...I should have never ever ever snorted it..it felt
like sumone punched me in the nose and guess what kidz...it
didnt fuck me up one bit...so here I am still sober..it
suckz.well tommorrows xmas eve and im going to my mom's
bf's mothers party...hopefully there will be lots of
alcohol and i can go get krunk by myself in a corner.Then
off to bed so I can wake up and open my presents the next
day with a hangover...oh Joy...Tis the season.

-M-C-L to all you juggafoos out there

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