Christine

Visions Of Life
2001-12-24 02:46:17 (UTC)

Sometimes I Wonder.. Why..

Why am I even here? Why am I alive? It just all seems so
pointless at times.. Some days I just want to curl into a
ball and give up.. It makes no sence because I am happy
most of the time.. But every once in awhile things catch up
to me.. I get sick of fighting.. sick of being happy.. sick
of hurting.. sick of feeling.. sick of being me.. These
thoughts usually go away.. but when they come they take my
breath away.. they knock me on my ass and into my personal
shell.. then i dont feel a thing except pain.. and sorrow..
sometimes i wish i werent even here.. sometimes i want to
be here.. i just dont know what to think, what to do or
what to feel.. i wish i were numb.. but when im numb i wish
i can feel.. so i lose either way.. why does my mind lie to
me? why does it wish to die? why does it tell me such
horrible horrible things? why does it crave pain? fuck..
everything is just so pointless..




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