Sweet Child

Sweet Life
2001-12-23 22:54:10 (UTC)

My birthday/ The rest of my life

Today is my birthday. Another begining of the rest of my
life. Only different. In many ways today is just another
day. It's a sad day yet a day of wisdom. Today my one wish
is to have back my happiness. That thing that has been
taken away from me. All I want today is that one thing. I
won't specify which thing because of certain people who
will read this, even though I tell them not to. But anyhow.
Today, I feel weird. I feel like my eyes have been opened.
I'm starting to understang things I never could understand.
Lately I have been going to sleep around 2am. During that
time I am thinking of all these things. Things that I don't
want to think about because I'm afraid to face them. But I
just can't stop thinking about them. Today I am 15. The day
my depression has been waiting for. No longer through the
hell 14 brought me. I was not going to let 14 bring me
down. I would not die 14. Now 15 & feel great because I
lived through it. I honestly have to say I am very proud of
myself. Fifteen, also time for me to party! But let me get
used to it first. So this is the begining of the rest of my
life. Things are different now. I just wish I had that
happiness back. Especially for today. So that way
everything I write I will be able to understand. Right now
I'm selfish & ignorant. I just want to be happy, caring
less of the consequences. I just want to be happy. For
today, for one day. On the day that I have waited for, for
so long. Wow. I'm 15. I just, wow. I can't believe how far
I have really gone. What will I do now? What will 15 be
like for me? Will I die 15, or will I live to 16? I don't
know. All I know is that today I am 15 & feeling alright. I
just wish I could have that happiness back. Well that's
about all really for today. I guess. Happy Birthday to me.


~XOXO~Christina~XOXO~