Psychotic Rambles
Ad 2:
2001-12-23 22:53:38 (UTC)

Tony Hawk and the Fabulous Thunderbirds

dunno, just wanted to make it sound interesting. i didnt go
on base today but i went to Nick's party. I really dont
think i'll ever get warm with Nick's girlfriend. she's ok,
i just dont like her particularly. Nicki and Nick were all
into Chrome Trigger and me and Jimmy were playing Tony Hawk
pro skater 2. it was cool we had fun. i bummed a ride with
Nicki's brother. i had to sit on nicki cause he had tires
in the back of his car. Weird.

i think i'm gonna go upstairs and blast my stereo to annoy
my parents. I am so frustrated cause i broke my (high e)
guitar string and i cannot contort my fingers to where i
can play the first chord in that creed song. all i can do
is the solo. but i like sitting there making stuff up. i
named my guitar Lauren. i dont know why. i think its
because i've been hearing that name a llloooootttt..oh
well. actually yes i do, it was because of this one girl named lauren
and she had this incredibly placid calming self, which reminds me of
my guitar. if i get an electric i'm naming it Joe. Me and Katelyn
were on the phone with this one guy and we pretended like we had this
huge entourage of people in her house and one of them was Joe, and he
screamed and yelled and cussed (played by katelyn) and it was just so
hilarious and so much fun, and thats what it would be with an

i had this awful dream while i was taking a nap. i dreamt
that i was goin to Katelyns house and there meghan and
justin were, making out in the stairwell. they break from
the suction and i'm just staring and i can hardly breathe.
my whole body tenses and then i collapse on the floor and
sit there. Justin just stares at me with this look between
confusion and pain and meghan just looks terrified and
says "i dont think we meant to do that...". i stare at her
blankly and say "well i guess you love rorie just as much
as you act like you do. but i wont say anything. its your
problem" and i just lay down and stare at the ceiling and
this one solitary tear flows down my face and ten seconds
later i'm laying there sobbing. when i wake up my face is
wet and i'm shaking all over. i'm not quite sure what
angered/saddened/scared me more...that it was meghan or
that justin..i dont even want to finish that sentence.

i have lyrics, but i'm too lazy to go upstairs, get them
and write them on here. but here's some stuff from staind.

It's Been Awhile

It's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
Since I first saw you
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
Since I could call you
But everything I can't
remember as fucked up as it
all may seem the consequences
that I've rendered I've stretched
myself beyond my means

It's been awhile
Since I could say that I wasn't addicted
Subce I could say I love myself as well
Since I've gone and fucked things
up just like I always do
But all that shit seems to
disappear when I'm with you
But everything I can't remember
as fucked up as it may seem
The consequences that I've rendered,
I've gone and fucked things up again.
Why must I feel this way
Just make this go away,
Just one more peaceful day

It's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
Since I said I'm sorry
Since I've seen the way
the candle lights your face
But I can still remember
just the way you taste
But everything I can't remember as
fucked up as it all may seem to be
I know it's me I cannot blame this on my
father he did the best he could for me

It's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
and it's been awhile since I said
I'm sorry

i love learing from lyrics, and studying them. learning how
other people think. deriving truth from intricate words
that at first dont make sense and leave room for
interperetation. thats what makes my lyrics work. learing.
i learn everyday. i should write a song about that. and how
children are the black plague. i should have one with just
inside jokes,i should have a funny song and one really
weird one and one super depressive suicide one and one
hyper happy go lucky one. well. its really cold. i must
take a bath in the toaster. (i'm making that a synonym for
having a good laugh.

love from the stocks.