2001-12-23 06:08:24 (UTC)


i have work in the morning.
and i worked tonight.
emily is spending the night at a girl who she works with
house tonight.
and i miss her.

"its hard for me to decide whether or not im being just a
psycho bitch girlfriend or whether i really have something
to be upset about and i get confused"

"but...thats you hun. and whoever youre with should love
you for who you are."

im not upset that emily is there. i just miss her. thats
all. i trust her. i mean...what would a relationship be
without trust. right..

i am jealous though.

somethings upset me. and i dont really understand why. so i
tell myself that im not upset about it. and hope that it
goes away. and a lot of times...it does. so then im really
sure that i was just being dumb. but then i wonder if im
stupid for secondguessing myself.
vicious cycle.

sometimes i think i should follow my ohsofamous advice.

i saw robin tonight.
we talked a little about sandy.
she doesnt like sandys shortshortshort hair.
i think that is funny.
i do not believe that i will be seeing sandy.
she left for miami today.
i dont know if it was her that called the other day.
robin is in love with sandra.
i think that is way cute.

freedoms just another word for
nothing left to loose.

i need to go to sleep now.
i have to get up early in the morning for work.

fuck that.

i do not want to go to work tomorrow.
at all.

it has been so crazy since the christmas season started.
so crazy.
adrienne came in today to see me...twice.
and she was like. damn.

mr douglas was there today. that was really freaky weird.

sarah was in today too.
i think that she is a nice girl.
shes nice to me anyway.

there was a really hot girl that was at work today too.
she had a really cool jacket
that she got from goodwill.
and she was all like
whats your name...
i said ashley.
her name was tony.
she was really nice.
like her green jacket.
and that was that

my parents also came in to see me at work tonight.
and that was interesting.
they were really drunk.
which is always nice.
they met jen.
and that was weird.
them being there was just weird.
i do not relate work and parents very well.
my worlds were meshing too much and it was uncool.

i really think caroline hates me.

but she gave me a cookie.
and that was good.
so was the cookie.

david is back at work.
that was exciting.
he is very nice to me.
i like nice people.
i think that i need more of them in my life
but then again
nice people is not what the world is full of
and i should not get used to niceness
cuz then the real world and real people would be a shock
for me
and i dont want to go through that again

goodnight online world.

"years go by and still words dont come easily...like im
sorry. im sorry."