Another lost soul

Caste Shadows
2001-12-23 03:29:09 (UTC)

Deep sigh

Today everything was made better. In fact, today was one of
my best days ever. Why? I spent the day with my wonderful,
beautiful Taylor. Whenever I see her again I know that I
love her. It all comes back. Because of an extremely
unfortunate situation, I am not able to see her that much.
And to keep from being totally depressed I have to keep her
off my mind. Its taken me years to figure out how to do
that. But I know I love her. Any doubt that Whitney has
given me about it is gone. I love her, I love her, I love
her. And she loves me. And we are so happy together.

We spent the day playing board games and solving puzzles and
such. I came over early and she was still in her PJs ^_^
Actually she never changed out of them while I was there ^_^
And she went and brushed her long, beautiful hair for me as
soon as I came over ^_^ I can't believe that I spent today
with her. It was a dream. But it made everything better.
I am so happy now. It is love for sure.

Before I went to her house, I talked to Whitney. She sent
my letter. She said things would be okay. I felt better.
I'm still not sure how to act around her anymore. I don't
think I'm going to tell her much anymore. Not until we sit
down and have a serious talk about things anyway. I want
her to understand my view of things first. But at least she
didn't leave me. At least I can still be with her. But I
sure as hell don't love her. I was fooling myself while I
couldn't be with Taylor. The love I felt for her was the
love I felt for Taylor. It was always Taylor. It will
always be Taylor.

I haven't talked to Tiff for two days now. I miss her lots.
We share a deep connection. We're going to be together
someday. She's my best friend and so understanding. I'm
going to marry Taylor and Tiff is going to live close by and
we will all be together. And I'll be so happy everyday. My
life will have been payed off. I'll live happily ever after.