sarah beara

sarah beara
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2001-12-22 15:38:04 (UTC)


i don't really know what i'm going to write in here. brett
is constantly telling me that i don't update my journal
enough - so i'm going to start...

let's start with talking about work. the suckiest things
first, that's why we are starting with get it
over with. i hate work right now. i think i need to just
focus on going to work everyday - getting my shit done and
that's all. all of the women that i work with are
absolutely ridiculous. they remind me of a bunch of high
school girls with all the drama that goes on with
them...only they are all in their upper 20's to mid/upper
30's. yet, they think it's ok to act like they are 10. i
just don't get it....i'm 21 years old and i act more mature
than half of those "older, more mature" ladies do....
*rolls her eyes* then there's the work that i do. i don't
like it at all. it's all the same thing over and over
again. no variety. i'm just trying to get through the
first half of this year then i'll be counting the days
until i can quit and go back to school...and go live in
florida or somewhere else... :) i can't wait - that's the
only thing that gets me through my days....

now lets talk about crazy people in my life. i have an ex-
boyfriend who likes to call me 8 times in a row and leave
me a 3 minute message every single time he calls....he gets
cut off after leaving one so he calls back and starts the
message all over again. the entire 3 minutes is him just
repeating himself. i really don't like that. lately he's
been leaving me alone and it's been cool. i want to be his
friend - but i don't want him to call me every 5 minutes
wondering why i haven't talked to him in a week. it's
ridiculous. actually, more like crazy. when someone does
that to me, it makes me NOT want to call them back...only
because they annoy the fuck out of me.... *sigh* oh
well....i guess.

now lets talk about my friends....they are wonderful. i
love all my friends so much right now. i am so completely
happy with all of my friendships....i am so happy they are
all home from college now so we get to hang out and catch
up a little over the holidays. my friends mean so much to
me...even the girls that i met from the o-board...they are
all so awesome. i love that i was able to meet them. they
are great and tons of fun...

**hopes you notice the progression from things that are
horrible to things that are wonderful in my life at the

my family is good. my mom is very happy with me right now -
which is cool. i hate when she is mad at me for
something....i talked to her about going to see brett and
she was cool with it. i talk to her about brett a lot more
often now and she likes what she hears so far.... :) i
can't wait until she can meet him and see how wonderful he
really is. (wait i can't talk about him yet - so i'll have
to get off the brett topic.... :) ) i'm going to be an
aunt in a month and a half....ah!!!!!!!!!!! i'm so
excited. i love babies..... :) i really can't wait.

now for the most important, wonderful thing in my life
right this very minute...........brett!

i already have a whole journal entry dedicated to how i
feel about him and how happy he makes me - but i can't help

i am totally, completely crazy about him. he is my
everything. it's so strange because at first when i
started to realize i had such feelings for him - i was a
little skeptical...not because of him in anyway - but more
because of the fact that he doesn't live here and we talked
about some plans and stuff...but i was just worried that i
would end up getting hurt worse than i could ever imagine
by him....i know that's always a risk - but i was trying to
be a little too cautious in the beginning i think. now - i
know the risk is still there...but i am putting my total
complete trust in him. i am giving him my heart and hoping
that nothing goes wrong. i am putting all my faith in him
and us and the love that we have. after all he is my
everything and there is nothing i wouldn't do for him.
nothing. if he wanted the world, i would give it to him. i
am so happy that everything didn't get fucked up
before....i'm happy that everything worked out for the

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! this is so amazing. he is amazing.
everything i could have ever dreamed of and even more....

i love him more than anything in the whole world....


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