.Scream Your Dream.
a few days.
but heres the deal, i guess some cool stuff has happened, i
skipped the jimmy style records show and went shoppin and
that whole bit. im not sad i missed the show, you gotta
skip one every once and a while,im stoked about the emo
show tonight, i better go or ill be real dissapointed, rich
and sam should too, or ill be pretty sad, i have gifts for
both of them. besides me and matt would be cool to hang,
but its been a lot just me and him, and hes doin the
mackin, and im alone.
i dont want will to go tonight, he'll just fuck things up,
especialyl if he brings his anus buddy. but ah well, it
really hurt me, yesterday, that will thought i would be so
devastated by jims empty and ignorant attempts to insult me
that i would have even thought of suicide. he must think
VERY high of me, he felt bad, thats why he reconsidered the
show. fuck that shit.
so its official, my love for emo has gotten to an unhealthy
level. i went to creep last night with matt, cause he got
his tattoo at xtreme ink, (it looks TIGHT by the way) and i
talked to ma boys, for a good half hour. they are so nice.
i cant even take it, they are buying creep, i wanted to ask
if i could get a job there, haha, even though i dont have a
car or anythin. but oh well, haha, that place is so much
cooler now, ya know, like back in teh day we would come in
and feel like we were this huge inconviencc to break arik
and the rest away from their friends to wait on us. now,
you go in there, tom and mike, are so freakin friendly, you
can talk to them for a half hour, and about cool stuff too,
they asked me advice on booking, I felt honored. anyway,
so i go 2 last place cds, on b sides diares cd, 2 plow
united tapes (that "changed toms life") a promise
ring/texas is the erason split for 6 bucks, and they gave
me 2 pedro the lion posters. thats hot. those guys aer sooo
ma boys. i told him id buy lots and stuff, cause tehy aer
getin rid of a bunch of stuff. they are so nice. tom, the
cute one, has a girl freind, but hes so cute thugh, haha,
really, he sorta has an accent or a lisp, and hes
definately a mommas boy. but he told me, last night, that
he has a girlfriend, but i have this WEIRD feeling that hes
married, so nevermind, and tom definately has this Noah
from diy-auction.com look goin down.
anyway, i talked to rich last night about hookin up, i feel
bad about his satchel (dubbed lost libido) we're cool
though, nothin wonkie between us, that would screw up the
freindship hahah *cough cough*
other wise my thing for zac has gotten intense. dude, i
cant even stand it. its so crazy. like a fixation, i told
rich about it, and my deep desire, of stealing the
innosence for boys. we discussed him and zac and sam too.
i have decided somthing about sam, hes an amazing boy, but
not without the issues of every emo kid, so for the risk of
killing his heart and spirit, i have decided to not play
games and not tease and try for him. i know hes lonely and
hurt and sad inside, i dont wnat him confused and girl-
sworn off too. (though his innosence would definately be
nice to have) just cuse of who he is.
i was thinking, that with clint id work out things with
zac, but last night, innocently enough i was talkin to him
about rachel (cough cough) and we got into this weird
arguemnet, which ended up me totally (not not intentially)
dissing rachel. and him getting mad and hurt like clints
do. he said i dont him and i dont know her, and my
judgement means nothng, BLAH BLAH BLAH. i said screw this
because i didnt wnat to hear him wrecking me to her and zac
cause i have an opinion. so fuck it.
dude im tired. im goin back to bed.