Puzzling out my life
2001-12-22 09:56:10 (UTC)


One of the problems with being femaale is this monthly urge
to kill oneself. I have moved through a fog all day, and I
have not enjoyed it in the least. I spent the day stuck in
traffic, as my father sent me all over Sonoma County
running errands for him. On the worst traveling day of the
year, while raining, no less. Erin kept asking me if there
was anything that she could do for me, but I don't even
know why I get this way. None of my friends get even close
to being this moody. I get in one of those moods where I
just want to listen to the Cure, write poetry and ponder my
non-existance. It was better when I was with Scott, since I
could curl up wth him, and not have to worry about how I
was feeling, but now I get to add that to the list of
things to be depressed about. Well, I guess I'll either
have to move on, take him back, or kill myself. None of
those sound completely appealing right now... I just need
to talk to spomeone who isn't going to be constantly asking
me if I'm alright. I'm fine, I just need to get my mind off
of life.

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