caillyn

Kiwi
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2001-12-22 09:14:13 (UTC)

beginning

First up, i suck at keeping these diary things. so sont
expect the world from me in terms of updates. I live in a
small city, small in world standards, Christchrch, in new
zealand. a tiny but beautiful place somewhere between the
pacific ocean and antartica. nothing major happens here. i
work, i go home, i sleep, and go to work. and thats my
life really. and im 23. so yeah, ive got like 30 more
years of this shit. not much of an existance. and thats
the life were all expected to lead. no wonder we all end
up wondering at the meaning of life. i dont think life has
a meaning. it doesnt have to. we all want it to have a
meaning, coz if life has a meaning it fills a nice little
gap in our heads and makes us feel content, and happy to
live the truly meaningless life we all live. the "meaning
of life" is just something humans conjured up to give us a
purpose. the reality is somewhat unromantic. see, when you
think about it, if life had a meaning, it would have to
have a reason, a purpose, and a purpose denotes
intelligence. which is another reason for humans to want
life to have a meaning, so they can reinforce their
delusional beleif of a God. there aint no God, no Allah,
no Mohammad, no blah blah blah, you pick any one of
hundreds of "gods" we humans have dreamed up to try to
make sence of the chaos of life. so you, the reader, can
probibly guess im an atheist. im also a buddhist, which
goes hand in hand with aethism as there is truly no god.
its a silly idea when you think of it. but then again, you
prolly dont, considering that the majority of westerners
are christians, which means you prolly are one too. but
then again, maybee not, more people are forsaking
christianity. good, people are waking up. we usually have
no choic as to our beleifs, which is understandable, as it
is usually drilled into you as a child. its quite funny.
your religion is usually based not on what you honestly
beleive in your heart and brain, but where you grew up in,
and what your parents beleived. how can someone beleive in
something when they are taught only one way. luckily for
me i didnt get some offensive religion drilled into me as
a kid. i had a choice, and being open minded, i had
nothing holding me back to see what religions are out
there, and make up my own mind. im the type of person who
beleives what he sees, and what he feels is really right.
if God, or Allah, or whomever, actually came to me in
person, then yeah, thats gonna pretty much change my mind.
but obviously it aint gonna happen. you can prolly also
see i have pretty strong opinions on religion. it just
amazes me that people can get so caught up in something as
etherial as a god. it just seems so delusional. buddhism
is the only religion that fits my beleifs. which is also
kinda funny as buddhism isnt technically a religion. its a
way of living your life. theres no god to worship, no
deity who made everything. everything is the way it is
because thats the way it is. theres no cosmic purpose, no
guiding hand. what we see is what we get,it can be no
other way.

it all fits my beleifs quite well. good. so to everyone
who doesnt agree with me, and thats a large percentage of
the population, dont even THINK you can change my mind
with arguments or trying to convert me. it aint gonna
work. i beleive what i beleive and if you dont like it,
well then tough fucking luck. it really fucks me off when
people try to make me see the world the way they want me
to see it. it doesnt affect anybody in the slightest if i
beleive something different. the only thing that affects
them is what i do in this world. so yeah, i dont think
those words will stop any typical fanatic of any religion
trying to convert me. itl be funny to see what emails i
receive anyways. if any.

damn, i really to speel alot about religion, but its a
sore point lately.
The human race is going on a decline, just look at recent
world events and you can see it on every bulletin of the
news. I wonder where we will be in the next 50
years...prolly not tooo much different than the way it is
now. but what about a hundred years? a thousand? what id
give to be able to know the future of us. we will prolly
destroy ourselves in some cataclysmic war, which like all
wars is based on either religion, or politics. its not
really a bad thing i suppose. id hate to see what we would
do when we have the technology to go to the stars and see
other civilisations. if there are any. wed prolly wage war
on them because they didnt beleive in our religions! how
stupid of us. we deserve to make ourselves extinct. its
the law of natural selection. the unadapted die out, and
the adaptable survive. we havent adapted to our own
intelligence because we cant throw away our prehistoric
past. we all live for the advancement of the self.

its all based on ego, we only look out for number one.


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