lost in the dark
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2001-12-22 08:27:13 (UTC)

B-day Party....

Hey Entry. Yet again I am back to tell you something.

Since the last that I have been here things have
progressed and have declined.

Velvet, and I are seeing each other. To Velvet we are a
couple. To me, I am not too sure what I think. I have had a
long talk with Sister. and I have actaully come to the
conclusion that we are not a couple. I hate to think this
way, because of what I have done. Why is it that things
don't always work out. To me Velvet seems more like a
friend then a Girl friend. I know that having a
relationship with someone you should be able to be friends
and Girl friend or Boy friend depending on the way you look
at it. I like the way that I am able to act myself around
Velvet and not have to worry about what she thinks. And
that is good right, well in a way I think that is good. As
I have told you before Entry I don't feel anything other
then being friends with her. Choosing the bed in stead of
the couch was my biggest mistake. There is no one else that
is in my life at the moment and I like that because of the
freedom that I feel. Having a Girl friend is nice and all
if the time is right. But, right now I am not too sure if
the time is right for me. I want to be along, spend time
with friends and make new ones. I have to many things going
through my head at the moment to have to think about what I
should be doing with Velvet. I don't feel tied down at all.
I want her for nothing else other then just being there to
talk to. Or just be around. There are not alot of people
that I feel comfortable being around, and to be able to act
myself. Sister tells me that I should just tell the truth
and be honest. I still have the farmboy mantality in me.
Doing something like this to such a nice person and a to a
person that I like and respect as a freind. I know that
Velvet will understand and not take it the wrong way. But,
it is still the feeling that I am hurting someone. And in
my books that is not right. I guess that life goes that way
sometimes. (another brick). I will find out what happens on
sunday when I see Velvet again.

On to the other things. Brother had a birthday party
tonight and it turned out to be not that bad of a night.
Got to relax and hang with friends. I am sorry for Sister
though. She worked really hard on the B-day party to have
half the people cancell on her. And her being sick did not
help matters all that much. *hugs* to you Sister. As always
you out did yourself. It was fun. Eating to much Whip cream
from a can can't be all that good when you are drinking.
(Laugh to myself on that one *big smile*)

I am off Entry really late and I am really tired.

Have a good night dear friends and the ones that are going
home by car I wish you a safe journy.

Lost in the Dark...