Thoughts And Love Of My Friend, Mark
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2001-12-22 06:13:27 (UTC)

Dealing with things better . . .


I am getting better at dealing with my feelings about
Mark. I still feel the same way, and I am trying SOOOOO
hard not to be clingy. I have been pretty successful the
past 2 days.

My heart still races when I look at him and catch glances
here and there. Butterflies in my stomach thinking about
him. I still cry alot when I'm alone (half good cry/half
sad cry), but I'm stronger infront of him. I don't want to
risk losing him as a friend by being moody in front of him.

I watched Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss tonight and,
although I've seen it before, it had a whole new light
tonight. If you've seen it, you know what I mean.

Well, not much else to say. Just wanted to write down a
few thoughts.

To Mark, if you ever find this diary - You seem to be
dealing with this very well and in turn, that gives me
strength. If you would have flipped out when I talked to
you that day, I would be a real wreck. I'm using your
strength (big guns) to help keep me strong. I know you are
going through your own personal challenges and I'm glad you
shared them with me. Makes me feel special (not 'riding
the little school bus' special, hee hee) you trust me with
such things. Thanks. I hope that means we will stay best
buds for years to come.

I hope you've noticed that I'm giving you space and not
trying to smother you. I'm getting better at it. Just
give me time, K? I would like to go do something together
soon, if you have time, before you go out of town. Also, I
hope I can be the one to take you to the airport.

Take care and I love ya!


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