Thoughts from Blue Angel
Caution: X Rated
Disclaimer: Although I usually don't include a lot of
sexual material in my diary, this entry has some content
which I would recommend you not read if you are easily
offended or under age.
A long time ago, someone on this site sent me feedback just
to tell me that she thought I was a whore. At the time, it
really hurt my feelings. I was self-conscious, having just
been used, and afraid that I was "easy."
Now that time has gone by and I've had a few more
experiences, I've come to realize that I don't care if
people want to label me as a whore.
I like sex. In fact, I love sex. Find me someone who
doesn't, and I'll show you someone who's either lying, not
psychologically and/or physically healthy, or just hasn't
found someone who knows how to treat them right in bed!
Did I mention that I would bet a million dollars that
person would be a female?
We're taught from a young age that we are responsible for
stopping a guy. So when something happens, it's the girls
fault. The guy feels victorious; the girl feels defeated
and guilty. When a guy loves sex, he's a man; when a girl
loves sex, she's a slut. I have issues with that.
I've been with four different guys. Was I in a serious,
committed relationship with all of them? No. Did I wait a
really long time before I had sex with them? No. But it's
not like I sleep with just anyone. I pick the guys who I
feel comfortable being myself with- guys with whom I can do
whatever It hink will feel good. I'm not as conservative
as a lot of girls, but I'm not as easy as a lot of girls
So, yes, as I said before, I love sex- and not just the
kind where I lay dead on bottom. I make sure that when I
get intimate with someone, we both get the maximum amount
of pleasure out of the experience. So if that means I'm a
whore, so be it! I like to call the shots sometimes- but
not all the time. I like to do my share of the work, but
he's got to do his too. It makes the experience better for
both the guy and myself. I love to be on top and hear and
see his reaction when I start moving in just the right
way. Believe it or not, I love to perform oral sex on a
guy. I love feeling how his whole body tightens up
(especially *certain* areas) when I do something he really
likes. There is nothing like the feeling of knowing that
you've got a guy under complete control. (Because let's
face it. They like to tell their friends that they had US
under control, but we all know the truth. Guys are putty
when they're horny.)
I'm comfortable with my sexuality. I know I'm good in
bed. You know how I got that way? First of all, I stopped
being inhibited about everything. I realized that in order
to be good, you have to stop worrying about how well you're
doing and just do it. If you're with someone who you
really don't feel comfortable letting loose with, you
probably shouldn't be sleeping with them anyway! Secondly,
I pay attention to reactions. Every moan and movement
under my tongue or hand or whatever is noted. A good
response brings repetition.
If being a whore means that you enjoy sex and know how to
have your own needs met right along with the person you're
with, then I am a whore! After talking to some of my
friends, I know I'm not alone on this. So, basically, I'm
through caring what people think about my sexual habits.
It's none of their business.