Life of a rockstar....NOT!
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2001-12-21 21:58:17 (UTC)

Been awhile

It's been a few days since I've written anything in here,
mainly cuz my parentals(mainly mom) are really pissing me
off. I mean, she always gets like this around christmas,
she just doesn't understand that when you are in high school
(in my case anyways) its all about what you do when you are
there and the one thing that means the most to me and is my
life are my friends, and when she grounds me, she takes
away my life!!!

And the really stupid part is, the reason she grounded me.
Okay, remember the gifts that I told you about for my
buddies? Well, ya she got really pissed and openend them
all up and took some of the stuff away that I had in them.
Then she started going on this spiel about how I always lie
to her and all this other crap like she can't trust me and
stuff, so yah, I guess she said that tonight I can't do
anything, but then she said that I might be able to go to

Well today was pretty good tho, we had our little chinese
auction at monicals, it was a blast! I love all my friends
and I really need them more than they can know!

But yah, I'm also not sure what I am gunna do about the
whole zack situation. because I don't even really know for
sure right now whether or not I even like him anymore, it's
just things arent' the way they used to be and it just
seems really difficult right now, and I don't believe that
a relationship should have to be hard

Last night I cried for a really long time. Liz and Kevin
broke up, that's not the reason I cried, but it was about
Liz. After our CYM party last night(which was really fun
BTW), we went to the sip for like 15 minutes, the band was
awesome!! And then we came home, and I went to bed and liz
got online, well I couldn't sleep cuz I am stupid and I
drank a fricking So I was finally like
basically asleep, when liz jumps into my bed screaming!
Well, it turns out that this really nice guy who goes to
our church named jeremy(he's a senior btw), asked her out
on a date for saturday night! And he told Roxy that he's
liked her for a really long time. ISN"T THAT AWESOME!?!

Well ya, henceforth to the reason of my crying.......I am
so fucking jealous of her I can't stand it! I mean she is
like literally perfect, every sophmore is her friend and
likes her, and all the guys think that she is hott and they
all like her too. And I mean, I have a big enough problem
with even friends, not to mention guys! Oh man, it just
makes me so upset because I mean, all the good guys like
her. Like the ones who are gunna go somewhere, and they are
just truly good guys. I can't even find someone decent. Let
alone someone funny and cute. I mean Zack is funny and cute
an all, but I dont know, i guess I just feel really bad
because I want something better. Is that so wrong? I feel
so horrible saying that, because I'm not better, but yah

Julianne just gave me some good advice on what to do about
hte Zack thing, but I don't know still!!! I guess I'll just
have to wait until tonight to see what happens....

That is if my mom isn't being a bitch again! Then I'm just
gunna sneak and go somewhere(now that would give her a
fucking reason to be pissed, at least there would be a good
reason why I waas grounded.)!!



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