lily16

lily's journal
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2001-12-21 20:44:47 (UTC)

oh lordy....

so, last time i wrote, i was writing about different
things, my day, my new b/f, tim, and my ex, jimmy. well,
i'm gonna write some about tim and me. because i know i
can't type for long just because my wrists don't like me
today. so,...
we had "the" talk. the topic of sex came up. and we both
have never been with anyone before. and i said that i
dreamt one night that he was my first. so we discussed it,
if it conflicts with my religious beliefs and his, the
protection issue, the pregnancy scare issue, pretty much
everything. and i'm actually quite glad, because a guy that
can't seriously talk about sex, isn't even mature enough to
have sex. and of course his biggest thing was what if i was
to get pregnant, and then i told him about my fucked up
reproductive system, that i've been on birth control for a
long time, and that i would never ever do it without
protection. stuff like that. he was really cool about the
whole thing. and we decided that it was a good idea, but
we're gonna wait a little while, and that if the right time
at the right place situation occurs, than there prolly
won't be any hesitation. so,..ya, that's that. and i know
that i want him to be my first because he's so amazing,
there are so many reasons, i can't even start to list them
off, it would take me forever. and he's not one of those
guys that will go and tell his friends that we did it or
anything. anyways, so it's a good thing, good idea, all
around good. the only thing i am iffy about it the pain
aspect. does your first time REALLY REALLY hurt, or is it
just one of those things that hurts but the satisfaction
level can out-do it?? i'm not too keen on pain, and i just
don't want it to be unbarable. i dunno. hmf. i just wish
someone would give me a straight answer about it. like all
of my friends are guys, and they all gloat about popping
someone's cherry and shit like that, and i know if i ask
them, they'd be even more of arrogant people. erg. i wish i
just had a fucking answer! and a truthfull one at that. oh
well. i gtg, catch ya later...peace.


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