i am taking deep breaths as i watch my life slip steadily
along. i am not ashamed with myself, i can't go back and
change anything. what do i want to do today? the day is
dead now. lying lifeless and limp in my arms. i hold it
close to my heart and try to wake it up with my wet tears.
feeling the sadnessof a time that was bad leaving. future
is the only thing. the future. how will i face it? why
can't i just have a fun life with adventures in it. i
don't like having to deal with money and issues like that.
they trouble me and i have no control. i try to relax. i
will relax. i will not let them get into me. they have no
power over me and i will be ok. i am self-sufficient. i
have created my own character and i am that character.
what would i do in this situation? i drew a pretty picture
today. a man with a face of a clock and a girl jumping
rope all exposed. words where the background. i feel
exposed and i feel like time dosn't care as a person
would. the man was made of bricks. the only life on him
was the tree growing on his shoulder.
i don't know what i want anymore. i don't know what i
need. i need to find a way to do what i want to do. i
can't believe that this is my life that i am living. my
parents house, they are my parents. my roommate is my
roomate, i can't believe that i have constructed a life for
myself. i am not living with my folks. i am on my own and
i am getting along pretty well. i am going to read a book
now so that i can feel smart and get smarter.