~*Monster Kitty*~

~*Stumbling Through Life*~
2001-04-08 02:52:05 (UTC)

Standing From OUTSIDE The Aquarium

Dear Diary,
Sorry I havent written in a long time. Lately-all those
crazy things, have suddenly dissapeared. Poof! It's gone.
And I'm still standing in the dust, saying "What the hell?"
But it's gone. Of course, theres craziness, but I dont
think there will ever NOT be. As for Jade, she's bitchy as
usual, but at least she keeps her comments to herself now.
Leigh, I give her an A in the improvement department.
She's actually developing into a real friend, telling
Jade "YO, I'm talking to Lily right now, quit trying to
drag me off every 2 seconds-its annoying!" And yep, its
working. Jade is shutting her pretty little mouth UP for
once. Terry and I are becoming very close friends,
something that if this whole situation hadnt happened,
wouldnt have happened. She's so insecure about everything
though, and reminds me of myself, as does Sara, only a few
days ago. And its wonderful, because now I can be the
wonderful, positive, reassuring friend that they needed in
the first place. And now, people are flocking to me because
they see that I am a person who is happy with myself, and
they want ot be around that, rather than someone who is
clingy, unsure, and desperate to have someone near. Go
figure. You act like you dont need friends, and then, there
they are! Sharon's becoming closer to me too. I think she's
beginning to realize that we mesh better than her and those
popular girls do. And I'm sooooo proud of myself for not
saying anything about them to sway her opinion, becasue I
know that if it was meant to be, if we really are that
perfect together as friends, it will all happen naturally,
without me pushing anyone in forced directions. And
it's reassuring to know that everyone from Zia wants me
back, so I want have any problems with friends next year.
Spencer is in the back of my mind, pushed behind thoughts
of buying new underware and how lifes gonna be when I'm 80
years old. Although, I was interested to know that he wrote
Leigh an email that said that he thought he might be in
love with her!!!!!!!! LOL, it just makes me think, god what
a big loser. It makes me sad, too, because he is so
desperate, and I went out with him...That says a lot. BUT!
I learned from the situation, which is my main reward,
because in every situation you will learn, so why not get a
reward every time??? It is amazing to go from so depressed
that you stop caring about anything and everything, to so
happy you could burst, and you cant understand why anyone
else could be so sad!!!!!
On another note!!! My birthday is this month! I cant wait.
I'm going to have a big sleepover with all my BEST FRIENDS
and I just am soooooooo excited. Then right after that, is
our New York trip!!!!!!! Can you believe it diary??? I AM
believe it, myself. Oh yeah, and I decided to take Algebra
1 next year, and RETAKE the WHOLE class all over again!!!!!!
Ms. Anderson doesnt think I can do Algebra 2. I KNOW I
could do it but I also know I dont want such a hard class
in my Freshman year, so I'm gonna pass on that opportunity
to prove Ms. A wrong. Well, its getting late, I G2g now.
BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love, ~*Lily*~ (^^)