Ad 2:
2001-12-21 04:07:28 (UTC)

i can not find my parents. that..

i can not find my parents.
that is never a good thing.
sometimes i feel more like the parental being
than their daughter.
i wish they would leave me notes
or you know
answer their phones.
then it wouldnt be such of a problem.
they are probably out getting shit faced.
thats what they do best.

so tonight i hung out with jennifer.
and that was fun.
we went to dennys
had coffee and talked.
i love her so fucking much man
so much
i didnt really know i was this capable of caring about
or i guess i didnt realize i was.
its amazing.
shes amazing.
yes she is doing well. still cant find a job but she will
soon. i know.
after jennifer i hung out with adrienne at the ale house.
it was a little weird because when her and i were together.
or like, right after we broke up.
and her mother was still fresh in hating me a whole lot.
i was at the ale house with a bunch of my friends playing
cuz thats what we used to do like everyday
and then adrienne and her parents were there.
and it was scary.
her mom made her go into the bathroom.
so i couldnt talk to her, or she couldnt talk to me.
not that i would have.
she was being a huge bitch to me then anyway
and yeah so i had to go pee and i saw her and it was...
so yes that was the last time her and i had been in the
same ale house at the same time
until tonight.
a lot of people that she works with were there.
a LOT.
like 50 people.
crazy amount of people
and only one pool table.
annoyance for me.
so i didnt play
and we just sat together and talked a whole lot.
i love her so much.
shes so fucking great.
and then yeah her girlfriend showed up.
and i figured it was time for me to leave.
she didnt even tell her gf that i was going to be there
im sure she was in trouble for that.
she doesnt like me very much.
and thats fucking stupid.
but anyway.
yeah so then i left and now im here and emily was SUPPOSED
to have an email waiting for me.
but nope.
shes busy though with her family and all.
people at her work think im hot.
thats funny.
boys that think im hot are funny.
very much so.
i love her.
i dont really know whats going on with this whole cara thing
but at the same time
i dont want to think about it anymore
i mean theres nothing that can be done
and if we break up over it.
we break up over it.
shit happens you know.
ill deal. and so will she.
it does suck though because i love her so much.
but ive loved a lot of people that i couldnt be with for
one reason or another.
i still do.
my parents are still missing.
this shit pisses me off man.
bitching about me never being home and then like when i am
they arent here
and i cant get in touch with them
i got pretty much all of my shopping done for christmas
i did good too.

its cold in here.
im tired of being cold.

i have to work tomorrow and that sucks.
i dont want to work.
i just want money
im going to apply at adriennes work on the 2nd
i dont know if ill like it there
but it is a lot closer and it pays a lot better so ill deal
i always deal.
im really diggin the new songs i dled.
they make me feel all chill and comfy inside.
i have to pee.
but im not moving.