emo kween

i hug pillows
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2001-12-21 02:28:03 (UTC)

im talkin to jonnnnnn....

ahhh this guy is so funny. :] haha...hes the best. but i
told him i called and i knew he wouldnt get the massage if
andrew answered..grr. o-well! im talkin to him now! haha


not alot has happened. winter vacation is happening
in...one more day!!

and i think we might be hanging out after school tomorrow!!
he said him and seth were gonna stop by my house the other
nite but they forgot which one it was haha..

uhh- but now cameron is askin me a billion and one
questions ...i dont wanna cry..i dont wanna cry...
ok im crying.

this is the hardest thing ever.

i miss him constantly and i wake up outta no where at nite
and cry and when i wake up hes the first thought in my
mind...and this january will be 2 years ithout him and it
doesnt feel like it..feels like maybe 2 weeks..
i wish this would all end.

BlkLbl732: so whats the deal you hate me now or something
Auto response from SurferBobo: i lied my face off when i
said that i would be okay. its never fine when you go away
BlkLbl732: or you dont have to respond
SurferBobo: i didnt plan to
BlkLbl732: so i take it you do hate me
SurferBobo: i dont hate anyone
BlkLbl732: so you would rather not talk to/associate with
SurferBobo: i dont care
BlkLbl732: thats why when i talk to you or try to you dont
respond right
SurferBobo: ok
BlkLbl732: ok well i just wanted to know why you dont talk
to me
SurferBobo: ok
BlkLbl732: are you going to answer me or just keep saying
SurferBobo: alright
BlkLbl732: ok well if your not going to answer me type
SurferBobo: what is it that you want
BlkLbl732: to know why you dont talk to me when i attempt
to talk to you
SurferBobo: i dont know ok
BlkLbl732: you dont know?
SurferBobo: why do you even care if i talk to you or not
BlkLbl732: cuz i thought it seemed like we were being
friends or whatever then you just up and stop talking to
SurferBobo: i just want to keep my distance
BlkLbl732: i was glad we turned out to be friends but i
guess i was the only one that thought we were
BlkLbl732: from me? why
SurferBobo: come on cameron i think everyone in this
entire planet knows why
BlkLbl732: why you want to keep your distance from me?
SurferBobo: yes
BlkLbl732: what i have some crazy malaria or something
SurferBobo: i wish that was what it was
BlkLbl732: if its what i think it is then its really gay..
no one else is ignoring me or not talking to me
BlkLbl732: youre the only one
SurferBobo: what are you talking about? it has nothing to
do with anyone else or everyone else ok its just me
BlkLbl732: well what is it...
BlkLbl732: i mean if your not going to talk to me then it
doesnt matter all you have to do is say it then not talk
SurferBobo: its hard enough knowing you anymore
BlkLbl732: why
SurferBobo: i cant be just friends with you
BlkLbl732: so youve decided thats a reason to not talk to
BlkLbl732: thats not fair stef
SurferBobo: you dont understand and i dont expect you to..
SurferBobo: lets not even talk about whats fair or not
BlkLbl732: ok fine

that was a tibit of our great wunderful conversation and
its prolly our last one ever. damn, how many times have i
said that before??

this is STUPID. it is.

but i miss him so much...all the time...


why am i always so sad??