Unspoken Thoughts
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2001-12-21 02:24:53 (UTC)

When The World Comes Crashing Down

Ever had those days when your world just seems to be
crashing down all around you? Well, today seems to be one
of those days. Actually, it has seemed like this for quite
some time.. yet in my stupididty.. I deny it. I lie to
myself, telling myself that everything will be ok. That it
will all work out in the end.. Not. It hasn't, and I know
for sure it won't. There's always that point in time when
a person must face reality.. and stop trying to kid
themselves by giving themselves false hopes and such. For
me, it's now.
I've lost so much.. Everything that I've worked so hard
for.. is all in vain. It really doesn't matter to me
anymore because no matter how hard I try, it will never be
good enough. No matter how much I struggle, it will never
be enough. No matter how hurt I get, it will not be enough
to satisfy the hungers of the darkness that has swept over
me. I'm probably doomed to live a life in utter darkness.
So why waste my time in trying to live a life that is
filled only with pains, sorrows, and the like?
In my times as a fucked up teen, I've met so many new
people.. but I've found that friendship is really over-
rated. All it really is is another chance to get yourself
hurt in the end. To have someone who you thought you can
trust with anything.. with everything.. to come back and
rip your heart out.. and make you hurt like you've never
hurt before.
Pain can only be numbed.. Some wounds never heal..
Emotions can and most likely be exploited in order to be
used against you... Life is full of crap.