Green Dolphin

Green Dolphin
2001-12-21 00:34:58 (UTC)


he disgusts me. i don't like him. he is like a slug,
leaving a sticky trail behind of evil and manipulation, of
horny sex. i want him to leave and to never return. i
don't ever want to see him again. he makes me feel sick.
he is stinky and hairy and lazy. pillows he has slept on
have this disgusting stink. his toenails are long and
yellow. ehen he touches me i pull away. sleeping in the
same house with him makes me sick with myself. showering
in the same shower he seldom showers in makes me feel
dirty. he leaves periodically and comes back reeking of
smoke. he is high again. he is a hippy. a dirty, grungy
hippy. he is weak and drunk. he smells and he takes up the
whole house. walking by him sleeping on a chair is
threatening. in a room away from him, alone i still feel
his throbbing, disgusting presence. i ttry to get it away
from me but it is lke a bad taste in your mouth that won't
go away, like a splinter in a place you can't pull it out.
he eats up my reality and consumes my life. rapeing my
unconscious untill the insect consumes me as a whole. it is
so dark and disgusting in here. he causes me to sin. he
is like satan, tempting me with a drink, with a joint. i
can't resist, it has been so long. he drags me down and
pulls me farther and farther form God. I want to cry for i
love these drugs so much. alcohol pulls me away from it
all and i feel numb and i like that. expecially in a house
with him in it. i want to get as far from him as i can/
in the end it brings me closer to him. i have l=already
followed him so far. he tricked me and now i must go
back. away from this sin and this laziness. when he
leaves, the house is clean and i feel so free. i want him
to leave. why do i let people decide for me? i let them
pollute me with alcohol and drugs and i do nithing about
it. i want him to leave and take his circus of drugs with
him. but he will never leave. why does he always come
back. I want him to leave and never return. i don't want
to drink anymore. i don't wan't to feel sick and sad. i
wan't to be folded in Heavenly Father's arms and to have
him tell me how special i am. i just want him to take me
form this place. i am done. i will never do it again. no
mor alcohol or drugs. i have strayed to far from the
straight and narrow path. i must go back. i hope that
ican find my wat back into loving arms. i hope that he
will leave this house for ever away from me.

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