Psychotic Rambles
Ad 2:
2001-12-19 19:06:22 (UTC)


My lip really hurts. my lips chap at night, and when i yawn
in the morning, it sometimes cracks at the side and it
takes forever to heal cause i always pick at it. I cant
believe myself. i told Pat (who) i liked. i mean, i love
Justin..i never stopped and i like Rian a lot, a lot a lot,
maybe even love him, but he is so damn perfect. He knows
what to say when to say it and how to say it and what to do
and when i need him. That kind of perfection can get
wearing. I'm also the kind that doesnt like being binded
like that really, cause i (sorry to be crude about this)
need some. at least making out or something like that. I'm
tempted to tell --- that i like him..but i dont think i
will, cause i have virtually no chance. i like a lot of
people..I'M CONFUSED! Justin and Rian..this isnt working
out! grrrrrrr....anyway, i wrote some more lyrics. i get
very bored. here they are:

I am not

You are my night
throw me into darkness
obstruct me with your arrogance
break my heart to pieces
break a mirror, seven days bad luck
why ask me to love you
when i hate you too much

I am not what you want me to be
i know the truth that you refuse to see
i cannot obey to your mad decrees
Stop screaming at me, just turn around and leave

you are a wall around my mind
try to block out my sunlight I know you
Didnt think that i would fight
crumble, then you fall/down from your high horse
Didnt think that i was right/didnt have enough strenghth


you always say we
but its not what you really mean
want to pull me down to your dark abyss
twisted agony, dreams
and i stare into your empty eyes
your frail apology, less than the smallest sigh


well...i really like that one, but it has really odd pacing
if you listen to it. (me singing, HA!) it makes sense with
the music and sung. the next one is the only lovey dovey
one i will ever write. Some of it, and most of my other
lyrics are inspired by other artists, lines that i like,
but usually i shape it to be my own thing. This totally
doesn not work with the rhyming thing but you know how some
bands dont rhyme at all, but it sounds right anyway? thats
how this song is. ok:


Did i ask to much of you
wanna know what went wrong
really wasnt anything
saw you see me way to long
i'm picking up my broken wings/broken dreams


wasnt it something true
didnt look back
never even said so
never wanted you to go
or were you just lying
when you said i love you

I called you up on a Sunday mornin
You werent home..should have known better
Your friends said
she tried to make you laugh but
you wouldnt let her
let her know you love her, when
but you never heard them


and wasnt life unfair
when you told me we werent working
but i thought you couldnt forget me
wasnt blind but still couldnt see
did i do you wrong
but that was the last you spoke to me


shatered mirror
cant see myself
never saw you walk out that door
you shut me out anyway
still you left
didnt come back
Come back

well, anyway. i'm trying very hard to come up with all of
the music 4 this, and its all swirling around inside my
head, but its a lot harder to play it/write it down. I have Pizza!
tastes pretty good.. i look prolly like such a dork! i have like
these green cargo pants, my vans a white shirt with a dark turquois
tshirt over it and the tee has a little hawaiian flower print on it.
and i have my hair all piled around and my orioles hat on. haha! i
look like an idiot right now. anyway. i'm a skater..tim woller taught
me everything i know. (thank youz lots!) and he, rian and rorie got
me into it. time light the fire and rian and rorie mad sure it stayed
burning. i like fire. fire is cool . and always remember. Doritoes r
good ;)rorie. Oh, TIM, Ms. Cahoon said Hi and uhhhh..well..nevermind.
I'll nevah tell you! nevahh! haha..pat's dad was talkin to him and i
didnt understand a word! lololol. this may be b/c his family iz
Ecuadorian...huh..maybe some weird slang. or i just never paid
attention cause i was writin a song. We need a drummer and a bassist!
well, i'll stop boring ya'll right about now.

from the weird girl