Another lost soul

Caste Shadows
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2001-12-19 18:47:28 (UTC)


I got my daily morning coffee as usual. It reminded me of
Chiharu. I miss her already. And Elizibeth. But I can't
talk today. I won't. Then I played Mario Tennis as usual
while sipping my coffee. I played as Boo. Taylor played as
Boo. It reminded me of when we first played that game
together. It made me think of her. I feel a distant
feeling of fuzzyness inside. Hopefully it can break through
again. Its not Taylor's fault what happened. She wouldn't
betray me.

I read her card over and over again. Just to think of her
voice and the expression on her face when I gave her my
letter. It makes me smile and sigh even now, even just
thinking of it. I don't care what Whitney thinks about
this. No one is going to take away my Taylor.

Even if I did believe Whitney, what am I supposed to do?
Tell Tay that I don't love her? No. That would be lying.
And that would hurt her. That would be evil. My life is
devoted to love and protect her no matter what happens. She
has done so much for me and she deserves no less. It is mutual.

I wonder if I am going to be forced to choose one or the
other. I wish I could have both Whitney's friendship and
Taylor's love... but I don't think I can have both. Whitney
gets upset at me for loving Taylor. I wonder if there is
more to it than what she says. I understand that she
doesn't want me to get hurt, but I think even she wouldn't
know what to do about it anyway. And I am prepared for the
worst. Life has prepared me.

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