words better left unsaid
2001-12-19 05:55:23 (UTC)


well I was reading some other diarys.. some I liked and
some made me want to throw up.. lol. and I read something
in one of them that made me remember something.

I remember lying in bed with my mother when I was
younger thinking about how much my life sucked and how I
was going to get high the next day...then I stopped
thinking. Why? because I was afraid I was thinking too
loud, that she might hear me. Even though I know that is
impossiable, there has been several times I have been
afraid to think something with her around fearing that she
will know what I am thinking.. is this weird??

Another time.. again, laying with her at night (I
often slept with her when my father was away because of
work so she was not afraid) anyway, I started thinking
about the night I was..."violated" whatever im supposed to
call it. I was so scared she knew what I was thinking. I
thought I was the only one in the world who had that
thought.. so I guess im not.
MY QUESTION: Does that happen to everyone?!! and if so
is it only when you are hiding something?

Im afraid I might not be able to sleep tonight.. so I
might just be back :(