words better left unsaid
2001-12-19 05:35:48 (UTC)


well, this has been another boreing day of my
Pretty much wasted. I hate it when I have nothing that I
am going to do to look forward to. Like when I was going
to Mexico.. I knew for weeks and planned and looked forward
to it. Now, nothing. I go back to school in a month, but
how exciting is that? okay.. so I guess I should tell about
myself huh? Where to start.. I am 20, at the moment I am
in the process of getting my life straightend out. I was
doing very well until some stupid moron decided that he
didn't know what the word "no" ment. So, I spent most of
this summer locked up in my room not talking to people.
Then I returned to my school, a christian school where no
smoking or drinking is allowed.. both of which I was
doing. Instead of asking someone for help I decieded to
try to deal with it drinking to forget. Well,
that didn't work and I knew I needed help. So.. I did what
everyone told me to do, and what I thought wouldn't work..
I turned to God. I quit drinking and eventually smoking
too. I prayed about all my hurt and pain instead of
avoiding it. Boy, God really came through for me. The
verse that says "you will find me when you seek me with
your whole heart".. I understand that now. Before this
happend I was just trying to be a christian. And doing a
really bad job of it... I thought I was a horriable
person. But now I understand that no one can live perfect
and God does not expect us to. What he wants from us is
our best. So, that is what I am giving Him.. my best..
everyday. And life is so much better. I can honestly say
that even when I am upset.. I am at peace. I have an inner
happiness and peace that I have never had before. And I
know it is all because of Him... okay... well I will write
more soon.