Trixie Dust

Trixies in the Wind
2001-12-18 21:31:35 (UTC)


I feel like im slipping- or is it falling? Falling into
this eternal abyss from which there is no return... imagine
with me a very large cliff, and a straight drop to the
bottom. The side of this cliff, the drop, is made out of
this huge sheet of smooth ice, this ice im clinging to, my
nails skidding down teh length of this cold, slick,
uncaring wall inflicting pain shooting like fire throughout
the length of my body. Im fighting for the top, fighting
to get out, but I just keep slipping farther down- my
nails, theyre practically pulled off my fingers from teh
weight of my body, I try so desperatly to hold on. At the
top, peace, freedom, the bottom, who knows. God lifts not
a hand to help me, from His perch on top of the Cliff, but
looks at me, arms outstreched, Come to me my child, he
beckons, come to me. Im trying Father, Im trying so hard.
Why cant i make it Lord, why cant I make it? Look in your
heart, look inside your heart. You knwo where the answer
lies. Today, in bed before I rose, I asked God for
strength- I know the right thing to do, but its not what I
want, its what He wants for me. Look inside your heart,
He told me, clear as day. I know if I floow God i get His
promises for me, but I dont want to hurt matt.

I wish life could be easy, and I wish all the wrong things
would go away.