"we dont even know what we argue about"
so i went to my first semi club last night.
have a nice day cafe.
for the most part.
i can definetly see why the people that i know that are all
about clubs are all about them. because i know the type of
people that they are. but i can also see that clubs, are
not my kind of thing. at all.
too many people. and too much alcohol and smoke and just,
invaded personal space.
emily pissed me off last night.
a lot. a way lot.
i hate disrespect. i dont think she realizes that you know,
yeah. i fucking feel and little shit like that does fuckign
affect me. sometimes i think she sees me as this just i
dunno fucking person that is capable of taking shit like
that. i dont understand. and its really not affecting me as
much as it used to...which isnt really a good thing. i dont
think. its like im getting numb to it or something.
things were so good between us.
and then and then she fucking slammed her fuckign door
instead of just listening to me. letting me finish. and im
sorry that i changed my mind. but, i did. and im sorry that
i didnt feel comfortable with you smoking weed right out
side of my house. even if my parents were asleep. i just
didnt. and i will work on trying to not agree to something
and then change my mind. i will, for you. but you have to
work on not being so just hardcore rude to me in situations
like that. even if you are pissed emily. you need to learn
how to talk to me instead of just jumping to rudeness.
and i stood there. i stood there so you would know that i
wasnt finished talking to you. in hopes that you know, youd
get out and talk to me. but no...you didnt. you didnt care
about what i had to say.
you spent too much time with me.
that has to be it.
when youre around me for an extented period.
you loose control over how you act towards me.
at least thats what i see.
and you get mean and rude and bitchy
and i dont get it. i really dont see how i can be that
difficult to get along with. but somehow, i am.
and i think its good that you left today. instead of
because all you were doing was picking on me about shit.
and whether you were joking or not. you know. you were
doing that shit for a long time. and i told you i didnt
like it and i asked you to stop. you knew it was upsetting
me. and you may think thats funny. i know that you do.
we hadnt fought in a very long time. and i thought that it
was all better. and then you got pissed at me right when i
got out of work. you got pissed at me outside of the waffle
house. and this morning was just bad.
if you need time without me if you need to go out with this
girl all alone tonight or whatever.
you need to do that.
because i do not want shit to get like it was before. i
dont want any shit at all.
i really thought that things were better between us. a lot
better. and they were. for a while. until last night.
shaun just called me.
im going to leave here soon and meet him.
happy birthday to him.
hes old now.
i miss him. i love him so much.
im glad that im going to see him today...i want to talk to
im sleepy still.
i dont work today.
and thats nice.
im going to go shopping today as well.
i need to do that. a lot. heh. im late.
anyway, i need to get ready.