jillian

absent
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2001-12-18 07:21:17 (UTC)

today

recently i realized that i am growing up... and growing
apart from what i once deemed comfortable: relationships,
responsibilities... i have friends that were once so close
to me that are now nothing to me... but how can i say that?
how can i say they are nothing... everyone has impressed me
in one way or another... but people just piss me the fuck
off... i do my best to be as real as i can to others and to
myself... am i the only one trying? if i don't like someone,
i will go not around them... if someone is disrespectful of me
or my good friends, i will not go around them... i seem to
be the only person with enough respect for myself to do
this... and i don't even like myself that much! what is
wrong with people...?

i just miss daniel g... he is my light... despite what he
has done to me... i know that he really does love me and he
has his own problems that caused him to act out... maybe i
don't have as much self respect as i thought i did...

goodnight... i have 50 hours of work scheduled this week...


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