shell's life
2001-12-18 03:37:04 (UTC)


well...i talked to my baby...he told me why he didn't
call me all weekend. he started to cry. made me wish i was
there to make it all better but in a way kinda thinkin i
might make it worse.
then he asked me if i ever thought of breaking up with
him. what kinda shit is that?!?!?!?! alot of mixed emotions
goin on about that one. especially considering the shit
that went on friday. i mean if he wants to break up with me
or wants me to break up with him then he should just tell
me. i mean, yea, i love him but life goes on. there's need
to act like he still wants to be with me and that he loves
me if he really don't. jusr really hopein every single
doubt that i'm havin aint true. ***a thousand tears***
i've been thinkin about my mommy lately. you know it's
quite amazing how one day something is here and the next
they are never to be heard from again. i wonder wat was on
her mind when she died...where is she now? what if there
really isn't a heaven or she just laying in
darkness for the rest of eternity? and if she is what is
she feelin? what is she thinkin?...i never had the chance
to say "i love you" or "good-bye". Never got one last hug
or warm embrace. nothin. does the pain of lose ever leave
the human body? why does it always remain with you. never
to be let free. you cry every night for the rest of your
life but the pain is still lodged inside. i don't
know...maybe never will...ima go now....