SpineshankTool

The land of unknown
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2001-12-18 02:50:22 (UTC)

'Sing the Lowe forever sung'

Mood: reflective but still good
Music: Crossbreed 'Release Me' or Anaesth 'Sol Y
Niebla'

well, it's been a looooooooong time now. and i've finally
got a mouthful to say. first off, i've been on a ride
upward. i've been feeling better then i have in a long
time. making new friends and re-opening myself. i
started drawing good again and picked up some of my
stories. but one thing is lacking. these friends i've been
making. it always seems that i meet people, then find
out what they're really like. even with older friends.
sometimes, when i'm introduced right, i hit it off and
have a blast the first time. but mostly, like when i first
was getting to know Kitty, i was quiet. but because it
seemed Pablo knew Lyz, we hit it off quickly, but then
with no Pablo, in biology, i shut up real quick. especially
when being made fun of by the rest of the table. but that
got better when that one dude left. then Chris lost some
of that 'power' and then was being more cool. but when
i usually meet people, i'm quiet, and usually for a while
after. especially when it came time for making friends
out here. but at first, i met a lot of cool people. but after a
while, once i started showing who i was, they started
showing who they were. Andrew, one of my first friends
out here and was actually the first guy to even talk to
me, seemed real cool at first. but these days he's
different. he's more abusive of people around him. not
as friendly anymore. but he thinks he's being friendly. then Chris,
the first to actually turn me into a friend. seemed real cool cuz he
was treating me like a friend, but then quickly pulled the ass hole
out of himself. i don't let him over anymore. not to mention he
ruined my Mudvayne cd and refuses to pay for it. then Matt, the
red head, at first, he wasn't as quick to welcome me in, but then
showed to be a better friend then most of the others. and still is.
then there was Steve, seems a lot like me, but stupid. he takes
'hap ki do' or whatever. some form of martial arts that i've never
heard of. and he always says, 'i can take u down in 2
seconds' which is probably never true. he would lose
any fight he would get into, he's way too over confident
and assumes too much of the opponent. and over all,
he's really starting to get annoying. but maybe he'll pull
around. then there's Austin, at first he opened up to me
pretty quick, but it took me a little more time then that.
but he still is a lot of fun, but talks way too much. but
that's ok. then there's this dude, Daniel, he's cool. he
has a thing for coffee. he's got a cup of it everyday in
driver's ed. course, it is the first of the day. then there's
Allison, she seemed cool. she reminded me a little of
some of my friends in california, but recently, she was
moved to far accross the room, and now does not
acknowledge i exist anymore. then there are various
people that i'm still starting to get to know. and those
unimportant enough to mention. but a recent dream left
me horribly missing two of my good friends from
california. Melissa and Dabay. the dream seemed real.
i got hugs from them and we talked of all things going
on there. it felt like a visit. but in a dream. and it's not the
first. i've had one or maybe two where i visited Kitty and
one wierd one where i met some one that exactly like
Lyz, but slight differences. but it was deffinetly her. so, i
hate most of my "friends" out here and i miss my
friends out there to no ends. but i'm still ok, but i miss
having real friends around. especially the girls.
seriously. they're much more sensitive then the average
guy. and for people who know me, u know how much i
need some one who can listen. i don't just have
problems, sometimes i feel like every one's problem
just cuz i can't help them. i know Kitty and Lyz
sometimes do the same. that's what makes them such
great friends. understanding eachother. and
understanding our bizzar minds is one hell of a task!
^__^ hehe. i think that's enough jibber jabber.


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