jane_doe

wasting time

today has been such a wasted day. i haven't gotten
anything done. i just don't feel like painting. i cleaned
the house a little, watched tv for about 30 seconds, messed
around on the computer, and that's been about it. of
course, i've only been up for a few hours :D. so nice
being on break, not doing a damn thing all day long. i'm
still totally in shock that in a few weeks, i'll be
starting my final semester of college. that is such a
scary thought. i want to move as soon as i can, although
that's probably not feasible. i just want to get the hell
out of here. start a new life. put the past behind me.
ya know?

anyway, 11 days until brett gets here. it will be so nice
to finally have him here. save me a shitload on phone
calls, that's for sure! we talked about him bringing up
that certain girl, and he said he would never do it again.
then, he called, and brought her up! i got upset and he
couldn't figure out why. he said he doesn't talk about her
that much, but he brings her up a lot more than he realizes
i guess. the thing that upset me so much yesterday was
that he can't call me very often because he's broke, so i
end up calling him all the time (i'm broke, too btw).
then, he called her yesterday! it doesn't bother me that
he talks to her, just that i've spent so much money talking
to him, and i was kind of insulted. i am probably just
being a big fucking baby. oh well. it's done and i'm not
upset any more, so i really don't even know why i wrote
about it. guess i just needed to get it off my chest
completely.

ok, so now i'm finished with that. i have so much stuff i
really should be doing, i just don't want to do anything!
my room is nice and clean. maybe i'll go lay down and read
for a while. i like reading. it's nice to finally have
the time to do so. i'm reading this book called 'the story
of b' by daniel quinn (i think). not the type of book you
can read passively. definitely a thinking book. i read
his first one, ishmael, and it's a lot like this one. it's
pretty good thus far. i think i will go read it actually.
take care. have a good day!

jane_doe