CadenceStar

dont let me let you go

Dear Diary,
hey there.. finally a trusted face i'll recognize. these
past few months have been so crazy. have you ever felt like
something was so meant to be, you could almost see it? but
then, reality becomes harsh and in the blink of an eye that
feeling is taken away from you. that's how i feel.
i'm so thankful for words... just looking at my text as
i write is really interesting :o) each letter shaped a
certain way and certain form to show meanings of
expression... thats really cool.
but the problem with all of this is that i don't know
if it ever was meant to be... i think i was just so thirsty
and wanting at the time and it all seemed so beautiful. but
people grow up i guess and grow apart. i tell myself that
if i tried hard enough to make us stay in touch, then if
it's meant to happen, it will happen... but when i thought
this, i completely assumed it was :o) now, i can see i was
wrong, and that hurts. i really cared about this person,
they were a great friend and a wonderful companion. i
shared so much with them, and they act as if that was all
nothing. i don't even know if they realize it or not... but
back deep down i think they do.
sometimes they tease me with nice words and
phrases, "friends forever", they'll say... but i know that
isn't true. it's not what they want, because if it was,
then they would try for it.. like i try for it. maybe im
just sensitive, but i guess only the future will tell.
now i have to learn how to unattach myself to this life
of dreams ive been living... wondering and waiting. hoping
and wishing. i suppose it's better to live every day by
itself, and not worry about the future or the past. easier
said than done :o)

man... i love words...

~cadence