Meanwhile. back in the band room
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2001-12-17 10:41:14 (UTC)

Bloody Train Death

Have you ever envisioned what particular types of death
would be like? I'm not a morbid person really, but every
now and again I think about what diferent deaths would be
like. I am almost positive I am going to die in a car wreck
of some sort, everyone in my family has perished thusly to
date, so I have a feeling the tragic pattern will continue.
I was standing outside my hole of an apartment earlier
(don't get me wrong, it's cozy and all, but nonetheless, a
hole) and a train went by thirty feet away from my
apartment (I said it was a hole, didn't I?) blaring its
horn as usual when I went into a dream and started
imagining what it would be like to be crushed under a
train. I saw the impact, and the skidding and the sparks,
as if I were watching it happen from where I stood, then I
wondered what it would feel like, what kind of a death it
would be. I don't really know what it would be like, but in
my reverie I saw the train approaching me, not just some
faceless stranger from my imagination, and I was sitting in
my car, and I felt the train hit me, and I saw everything
that was in my car being thrown about, and I saw my body
being spread like pâté under the train. I imagine it would
be a fairly painless death. If you think about, the only
function of your body is to keep your brain alive, and your
brain is what is letting your body know you are in pain and
you can't really feel your body if your brain is spread
like pink, slimy Gak all over your dash board and the
ground, and the train tracks, and maybe even a few people
who happened to be standing around gawking at you and your
car sitting moments away from a grisly demise. I once met a
tow truck driver who told me he had to pick up bits of
brain off of the highway when he cleared away a wreck. He
said it was part of his job to make sure all debris is
cleared from the roadway before he leaves the scene. What
kind of ass-hole cop is going to write a tow truck driver a
ticket for not scooping some motorcycle driver's brain off
of the road? What is the tow guy going to do with it? Pull
a Hannibal and have a sack lunch?(I imagine it would have
bits of skull and asphault stuck in it, so it might be a
little crunchy)I don't think I could ever be paid enough
for that. I digress. Every 90 minutes in America a car is
hit by a train, and I personally don't want to be one of
those people. I wonder how you could even get yourself in
that kind of a situation to where you would be just hanging
out on some train tracks in your car. Not that many cars could
possibly stall out on the tracks, and in my opinion, if you were
stupid enough to try to beat a train, you deserve to die. It's
modern natural selection, and one less idiot I have to deal with. I
might understand if it was on a country road, late at night, and the
signal lights weren't working. I will forgive that death. That would
be an unadulterated accident. Of all of the deaths I've envisioned,
this is one of the less appealing. I don't want my family to have to
find pieces of me to bury or cremate, I don't want to have the fear
of sliding along under a train until I finally smoosh into a thick,
bloody Kristin-goo. I think I prefer immortality at this point in my