Erin Kendell

Greske Neveland
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2001-12-17 10:20:31 (UTC)

Sunday Bloody Sunday

There is nothing more pathetic than sitting at one's
computer at three in the morning 'cause you're lonely as
hell with nothing else better to do.
Well, since I am making this public and all, I guess I
should tell whoever may be reading this a little about
myself. My name is Erin, I am 21 and live in Albuquerque,
New Mexico. I am 5'2", 117 lbs with green eyes... most of
the time. They tend to change color a lot. I have short-
cropped blond hair and goldenhar syndrome. That is a
genetic disorder that makes my face screwed up. I am also
a lesbian.
So now, here it is, 3 am on a Sunday night... or
Monday morning depending on how you look at it, but I say
it's Sunday 'till I go to bed. I'm just sitting here
writing in an online journal and listening to music. Every
now and then I'll smoke a cigarette and try to type at the
same time, but I'm not that talented. I have until
christmas to quit, I promised this to my mother and to a
girl I have a crush on. Her name is Jewelia. Isn't that a
great name? She is one of the sweetest people I know. She
is 5'1" with relatively short wavy brown hair and
brownish/greenish eyes. They tend to change color like
mine. She is extremely cute, her skin is kind of an
interesting color, like someone who is typically white, but
spends so much time out in the sun it's almost always
somewhat tan. Jewelia is currently in Oaxaca, Mexico with
our friend Michelle, who is from there. She'll be
there 'till January eighth. Three weeks. She left
yesterday. I miss her already. I told her online two days
before she left that I had a crush on her, and I typed out
a poem I had written about her a few nights before. We're
going to go out on a date when she gets back and see what
happens. I am not sure how it will go, because I am
extremely shy in some ways. I can tell she is as well, so
it will be most interesting. I think I will have to make
the first move because it appears that most do in
situations with her. So I sit back and wonder what I will
do. Who knows in these situations? I am always running
questions and scenarios through my head. Should I kiss her
on that first date? Will she freak out if I do? Will she
think I'm not really interested if I don't? Where should
we go? Should it be a romantic dinner date or a relaxed
lunch? We already go out all the time, so the relaxed
thing seems a bit redundant. Should I buy a red rose or a
yellow one? I don't even know her favorite color. I guess
I should find that out.
I told my ex-girlfriend Kira, who is now one of my
best friends that I told Jewelia that I had a crush on
her. Her response was,"I was wondering when you'd ask her
out." I asked her what she meant and she said,"You know
people who look like they should be going out? You two
were always like that. You look and act like a couple."
That kind of surprised and confused me. I didn't realize
we were acting like a couple... especially since no one has
really seen us together except for one instance at a party,
which was only around the second time we'd actually said
more than a few sentences to eachother. I guess she's
right though, we've already met eachother's mothers. She
met mine when she took me to pick up some stuff at my mom's
house. My mother said "She's a nice kid... cute too." Ha,
that's my mother for you. I met her mother when we all
went to see a local lesbian singer at a coffeeshop.
Jewelia told me her mother said that I 'have my head
screwed on tight.' So it's all good. Our mothers like
us... so that's quite a recommendation. Especially from
mine who has something negative to say about everyone I
bring home, whether I'm dating them or not. She was
actually quite happy when I told her we were going to go on
a date when Jewelia got back. Surprised the hell out of
me. So what can I say? I'll just wish for the best.


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