Dread.. filled with dread...
Dreading my exams
dreading my papers
dreading going home
dreading coming back...
Odd.. I was filled with glee this AM..
I'm tired, but not tired as in I need a good nights sleep..
(I need about a months worse), but tired as in worn out..
stressed out.. apathetic..
My whole body is sore. My kidneys feel like they're about
to blow out of my back..don't know what that's from..
I really need a good back massage. That's one thing I
really miss about seeing someone.. free backrubs!!
My mind is really all over the place.. I just can't seem to
focus.. too much going on in the world..
One day at a time, right?
Just have to make that last big push.. I feel like it could
really kill me at this point. Why can't we have a Vietnam
to cancel finals? Politically correct?? Never claimed to
be.. kill off a bunch of people, not allies not enemies..
just people... get population down to a more managable
level.. nothing to do with being an American or
Afghanistani.. the world is about to go *pop*.. all things
compounding into one huge disaster.. the mother needed
trash, we gave it to her, now it's time to clean house.
Sooner than most think. Yes, humans have been on this
Earth for thousands of years, but if the world has been
around for 1 day.. humans only enter the picture in the
last second of the last minute of the last hour. Who the
hell are we to think we are so grand?? We have single
handedly propelled the world into the largest mass
extinction ever!! And people think we're really going to
survive that one?? Shit is about to go down.. about to go
down big. Am I being radical?? No, just educated. If most
people had a clue.. am I innocent?? Hell no.. I still drive
my fuel powered car, eat processed foods, shop at Walmart..
we need a complete societal overhall.. sometimes I think
that we should be working towards social justice and
sustainability etc.. but what is the point really? The
time scale we are talking about is so short. All of the
major problems humanity has discoverd, have been found
after the fact.. who knows, it could already be too late...
even if we stop today and move into a completely
*sustainable* society.. it may still be too late.
interesting factoid: When rat populations become stressed,
they turn to non-reproductive forms of sex in greater and
greater numbers.. such as incest, pedophilia,
other things that happen with stressed populations..
War: Hello.. the jihad..
Disease: Hello AIDS
Competition: Hello Wall Street
We're fucked, fucked, fucked..
hmm.. suddenly more work doesn't seem like as large of a